“It’s Rebekah, bitch.”
SAVE THE SUPES!
I know many of you are asking, “why da fucque would you save Barbie Klaus when she tried to kill Matt and Elena?” Well, bear with us for a minute, OK? We choose to Save a Supe like this every week because every Supe deserves saving. Well, except for Daddy Klaus. We didn’t like him and he got killed in like, two episodes, so shit worked out. ANYWAYS! Let’s get down to the dirty deets as to why Rebekah Mikaelson should be saved:
Blondes rule. You all are aware of my un-dying love for Caroline, who was the only bubbly blonde on the show for a couple seasons. When they introduced Rebekah I thought I would hate her, but I love me a fun, fierce blonde that’s vulnerable to hot boys and school dances. Give the girl a break. She just got un-daggered and all she wants is to join the cheerleading squad and go to homecoming. Actually, come to think of it, she is the only cast member that actually wants to attend school rather than frolic with hot vampires all day. Props to you, girl. #booksoverboys
She gets shit on. Hard. I ain’t mad at a woman for trying to kill Elena. Let’s look at the facts: 1) Rebekah is a vampire. VAMPIRES LIKE TO KILL PEOPLE. So, we can’t be that surprised at her instinct to rip Elena’s head off. 2) Her brother has lied to her for 1,000 years about how her mom died. How would you feel if you’ve been living it up with your brother who ripped your mom’s heart out? I’d be teetering on the crazy bitch fence, too. 3) She has no friends. No, seriously, like, none. She tried to bond with Elena before the homecoming dance, but got stabbed in the back. Literally. 4) She woke up from a 90-year coma to a new world with reality television and global warming (at least she missed The Great Depression #optimism). AND her boyfriend hates her AND some doppelgänger is rocking her family heirloom. Need I go further? Like I said, step into her Louboutin’s for a second and think about where she’s coming from.
She gave Elena the best gift ever. As much as Rebekah hates Elena and tried to kill her, Elena should be grateful. Get out that thank you card, Elena, because you are about to become an immortal badass. I do not want to hear you whining about how being a vamp sucks. You don’t know what it’s like to have some stranger say you look five years older than you really are, start having to buy your Oil of Olay moisturizer with the SPF in it, or have it be illegal for you to day dream about making out with all the members of One Direction. GETTING OLD SUCKS. The only nice thing about getting old is that you can drink all the boxed wine you want without getting grounded by your parents. Actually, forget that. Because your Mom will want to drink boxed wine WITH you, and then your evenings consist of having awkward conversations with your mother over a box of chillable red. #pathetic. See? Stay young forever and be hot and fierce with all your baller status vampire friends! UGH. Rebekah, you can run me and my ex-boyfriend off of a bridge any day. #realtalk
She does a sick round-off back-hand-spring. No other description necessary. Gabby Douglas is the only other girl I’ve seen that can do that and she’s a fracking Olympic gold medalist. #boss
Despite everything she is loyal to her family. She broke down crying when Elena told her about Klaus and how he murdered their mom, but she still wants to be with him. Who’s anyone else to talk? Elena has clearly forgiven Damon for snapping Jeremy’s neck that one time. Elena was balls deep in that hotness at the Super 8 Motel. If that doesn’t scream “forgiveness” I don’t know what does. Rebekah can get a little whiny and impulsive, but at least at the heart of it she does it for all the right reasons: her family.
Alright guys, tune in and get ready, because The Vampire Diaries season four is about to start and shit will get real. Also, from the promo videos/photos it looks like Rebekah will have some fierce new extensions and a fantastic blowout. #fangsout