Category Archives: The Walking Dead

The Walking Dead Recap – 3×16 “Welcome To The Tombs” (Season 3 Finale)

Holy macaroni people! The season ended in true Walking Dead fashion. Lots of blood, death and major cliff hangers. My mouth was on the floor when the episode was over, mostly because I was trying to process the fact that we have to wait until October for season 4 to start. The season finale was the culmination of everything that’s been brewing between The Gov and Rick. The Gov’s attack on the prison failed but that didn’t remove him from the picture entirely. It actually only made him crazier. In the finale episode, we saw Andrea move at sloth-like speeds trying to escape a deadly situation, The Gov commit a roadside mass murder, and Carl back talk his father after shooting someone in the face. Let’s get down to the dirty deets.

Andrea Walking Dead 3x16Andrea: Girl, you delivered an amazing final performance, all while being tied to a chair in The Gov’s make-shift torture chamber. The Gov’s crazy ass stabs Milton serial killer style and leaves him in the room with Andrea. Milton’s slowly dying and they both know she needs to hurry and get free before he turns into a walker and eats her f*cking face off. Milton points out that he left a pair of pliers on the floor behind her chair, so she goes to work trying to get them. This bitch was moving so slow. I’m talking like molasses slow. She stops to have a chit-chat with Milton every once in a while and then casually resumes trying to get the pliers into her hands. Let me just say, if I was in Andrea’s situation, I would have lived because I can pick the shit up out of some stuff with my toes. She was having a hard time getting her foot up to her hand and all I was thinking was, she shouldn’t have skipped those yoga classes at Woodbury. Milton turns into a walker and starts coming toward her right as she manages to get free. She’s literally TWO seconds late. When Rick, Daryl and Michonne find her, she’s been bit in the neck. Rick tells her that she was always part of their group and Michonne cries (which was the saddest part of the whole scene).

As much as Andrea’s life sucks right now, because she’s dying and all, at least one of the last faces she sees is Daryl’s. I mean, that’s how I’d want to go out. They hand her the gun because she wants to end her own life, and she must have been really out of it because she says, “I know how the safety works” but revolvers don’t have a safety and that’s what they handed her. Nice try though. #GunKnowledge. #StreetSmarts.

Honestly, I did NOT see Andrea’s death coming. I thought we’d see a much more cataclysmic death, like Hershel, Maggie or Glenn. I’m not as upset as most people about her death either, and I’ll tell you why. She had a few prime opportunities to take out The Gov, and she bitched out. Now look at what he’s done. I’m sad to see her go because she was a great character, but I’ve been angry with her all season so I won’t be shedding any tears over it. RIP Andrea. You were a fierce warrior.

The Gov 3x16The Gov: Not that he ever did, but he literally has ZERO redeeming qualities left. Like, none. This dude is totally f*cked up. One fry short of a happy meal. His elevator don’t go all the way to the penthouse. You  get my drift. I don’t even know where to start. I guess we’ll start with him shanking Milton and leaving him to die in the same room as Andrea. What’s totally f*cked up about this is, Milton and him were friends before the apocalypse even started. How could he be so cold to kill an actual friend and leave him to suffer like that? He surprisingly allows Tyrese to stay behind like he asks because he doesn’t feel that it’s their fight to fight. I’m shocked The Gov didn’t just gun him down in front of everyone. The Gov leads the siege on the prison, and when they’re forced to back down he doesn’t take his group’s attitude very well. They pull over on the road to have a chat about what do to next. His people don’t want to return after being bitch slapped by Team Prison. The Gov does not approve of their outlook on the situation and just shoots them all. He opens fire and sprays them with bullets! WHAT?

Did that really just happen? He even goes over to the people lying on the ground and shoots them again to make sure they’re dead. That scene was hands down the most shocking moment of the whole night. He just took things to a whole other level. I mean… wow. Oh, and he’s still NOT dead. Him and a couple of his men (that he didn’t kill but are now probably scared shitless of him) took off in one of the vehicles. Where the hell did they go? Nothing about The Gov was addressed after that scene which was kind of frustrating actually. I was hoping to see him either a) murdered,  b) captured, or c) driven away permanently. So, I guess now we know they’re dragging The Gov into the next season as the big bad (He was confirmed as a season 4 regular). I understand, though. I wouldn’t want to let David Morrissey go either. His portrayal of The Gov is superb and he’s arguably the best villain on TV. So I guess my question is, will he still have his ‘eye’ on the prison when season 4 starts?

Rick Walking Dead 3x16Rick: Rick returned to leader mode and when The Gov and his men entered the prison, he was ready with a surprise attack. He and the rest of Team Prison were able to scare the Woodbury f*ckers into retreat. Woohoo! They decide it’s a good idea to go to Woodbury and finish the job. They find the girl who was in The Gov’s militia that he didn’t manage to kill and take her back to Woodbury with them. Once there, they realize that Andrea may still be somewhere in the town. They set off to find her, but it’s too late. Here’s my question for Rick. Why the f*cking French did you bring all those people back to the prison instead of relocating to Woodbury? You could have fortified the town and it would have been a much happier place to live. I’m sure he has his reasons, I’d just like to know what they are. I’m wondering how Rick is going to deal with Carl and his nasty little attitude. He totally needs a beating to make him remember who’s in charge.

Let’s talk about the Lori hallucinations real quick. Remember how Rick saw Lori and when he came back from Woodbury at the end of episode, they made a point that he didn’t see her anymore? Well, I’m thinking Lori appeared to him because he lost sight of himself and his humanity. With his actions in the finale, and then eventually bringing all those people back to the prison, that proved that he’s still the man he used to be. Maybe he doesn’t need those hallucinations to guide him anymore or remind him of who he used to be. The old Rick is back. Did I just blow your mind? #MarinateOnThatShit #SymbolismBitches

But if the hallucinations were a sign of Rick losing his humanity and that his moral compass was off, then we should expect Carl to start seeing Lori in Grecian garb, right? Because that kid is off his damn rocker and I’m not sure he knows what’s right and what’s wrong anymore. Speaking of…

The Walking Dead Carl 4x13Carl: You, my sweet child, are f*cking bonkers. What would your mother say if she could see you right now? Carl wasn’t in the episode much until he and Hershel were hiding in the woods around the prison during the battle. After the Woodbury militia retreated, a kid with a gun ran into them in the woods. He immediately said he meant no harm and handed over his gun. The kid was obviously scared, and what did Carl do? Why, he shot him right in the face of course. At first I was happy about him making an executive decision and capping the dude off just in case, but then there was his conversation with his father. What a disrespectful little shit. He talked back to Rick, dropped his Sheriff’s badge in a blatant display of rebellion and walked away. THEN, when Rick brought all of the people from Woodbury back to the prison, Carl was pissed. Carl, last time I checked, you’re a pre-pubescent teen who doesn’t get to make the life and death decisions around here. Go get a Capri Sun and sit in the corner with your nose to the wall. You need a time out. I have to remember to cut him a little slack, though. He’s the only kid around so his peers are adults and he’s growing up in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. All the adults had a normal childhood, were raised in a safe and nurturing environment, and none of them shot their mom in the face. Carl’s seen and been through too much to be a normal kid. I just hope he doesn’t do something stupid to defy Rick in the next season and put everyone’s lives in danger.

Daryl: There was not nearly enough Daryl in this episode, but we did get this little moment:

I don’t think he’s had time to let Merle’s death sink in yet. When he does, I think he’ll toughen up again. I have a feeling season 4 Daryl will be more like “season 1 Daryl” than “season 3 Daryl”. You picking up what I’m putting down?

Milton: Bet you wish you didn’t stop Andrea from shooting The Gov a few episode ago now, huh? If only you’d realized the man you spent every single day with for years was a psychopath sooner, you and a shit ton of other people would still be alive. RIP Milton.

Glaggie: Thank GOD Maggie and Glenn weren’t getting sideways in that watch tower when the Woodbury troops arrived. Phew! We know they have a tendency to do that. Now that we know they survived to see another season, I’m crossing my fingers for a prison wedding. Come on! PLEASE! #GlaggieWedding

I’m so torn about the way they ended things with The Governor. I don’t know if I’m upset they didn’t wrap that story up before the end of the season or if I’m happy that we’ll see The Gov again because I can’t imagine a better villain. Where are they going to go with the story in the next season now that everyone from Woodbury is in the prison? Where the hell is The Gov and when will he return? Will Tyrese and Michonne become a solid part of team Prison? Will Carl be able to keep his attitude in check? And the most important question of all, how are we going to survive until October when the show returns? HOW? Leave your thoughts about the season finale and your predictions for season 4. See you in October…



Music from “Welcome To The Tombs”

The Walking Dead Recap – 3×15 “This Sorrowful Life”

Son of a buttered biscuit. This episode had my heart racing faster than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking competition. We didn’t get to see any Andrea, so we can only assume she’s just been chillin’ in The Gov’s torture chamber, awaiting rescue. This episode really laid the foundation for a brutal battle next week, and I’m terrified about how it will all go down. In this episode, we saw Merle taking matters into his own hands, Rick giving hallucination-Lori the cold shoulder and Glenn going ring shopping for Maggie. Let’s get down to the dirty deets.

Rick TWD 3x15Rick: Rick’s a good leader, we know that. But sometimes I really question his decision-making skills. I mean, he asked for help from a dude that was digging around in a prison mattress with his nub blade looking for crack… and was totally not ashamed of it. Strength in numbers, I guess. Merle made him feel like shit for even thinking about giving up Michonne for a shot at The Gov. “You’re as cold as ice Officer Friendly.” This obviously affects him, and it should because Merle’s actually right. Rick is gearing up to protect his prison and his people and he gives them a rousing pep talk, admitting that The Gov said he’d back off if Rick gave him Michonne. “No can do,” said Rick. “She’s one of us and it isn’t right.” He proceeded to mentally prep them for the fight of their lives. Who would have thought in the midst of a zombie apocalypse that their biggest problem would be humans? Rick saw a vision of Lori again, and he had to tell himself that she wasn’t real. He’s trying to hold it together and be a good leader. I’m so glad, because I want the old Rick back. I miss the strong man with good judgment and moral standards that he used to be. I’m crossing my fingers that neither Lil’ Ass Kicker or Carl die in this battle. I just don’t think he could handle it.

Merle TWD 3x15Merle: As soon as Merle had a 60 second monologue in the beginning of the episode, I knew he was going to die. What really sealed the deal? Him trying to do something noble for once. I freaking knew the writers were going to have him go out a hero, that way Daryl’s grief over his death would be justified in our eyes and we’d actually feel a twinge of sadness when he croaked. Anyway, Merle essentially kidnaps Michonne to get her away from Rick, who he thinks is planning on following through on The Gov’s proposed deal. We didn’t really know what Merle’s plan was throughout the episode, but it became clear when he attracted a herd of walkers to his car with some sweet rock n’ roll. It was evident he knew he was going on a suicide mission. He was taking pulls of booze in the car, rocking out to some Nugent and waiting for enough walkers to appear before he led them to Woodbury in a surprise attack. Sure as shit, he came face-to-face with The Gov once in town and The Gov shot him dead. What an ASSHOLE! He turns into a walker and Daryl is forced to kill him. That was f*cking tragic to watch. RIP dear friend. While I’m not incredibly sorry that you died (you were borderline unforgivable even after your heroic attempt and I already saw it coming), I’ll be sad to watch Daryl mourn your death. P.S. Michael Rooker, you played this character like a f*cking boss. We’ll miss seeing your face and your “nub-blade-o’-death” every Sunday night. I’ll cross my fingers that you get picked up on an a sweet pilot soon. #MuchLove.

Daryl TWD 3x15Daryl: It was so good to see him back. One episode without Daryl Dixon is one too many. So, he tried to be his brother’s champion and told Glenn that he should forgive him. Yeah, that’s not happening. He goes to find Merle, and when he does he asks Merle what the french toast he’s doing. Merle’s response? “Looking for some Meth, bro.” This should have been our first clue that Merle was on a suicide mission. When Rick and Daryl realize that Merle took off with Michonne, Daryl insists that he be the one to go after them. When he finally catches up to Merle at Woodbury, it’s too late. He’s a full-blown walker and he has to kill him. Sweet Jesus. Watching Daryl killing his brother and then lying in the grass crying broke my damn heart. Daryl is tough as nails, so seeing him in a moment of weakness is NOT easy to watch. How the hell is he going to deal with it in the season finale? Daryl, turn that grief into rage, hop on your ape hanger and slay the f*cking Gov already. You’re as likely as anyone to kill him, you bow-weilding son of a bitch. Get the job done. I love you.

Glenn and Maggie TWD 3x15Glenn: Glenn acted like a freaking man in this episode which I loved. He stood up to Daryl, who was telling him he should forgive Merle, and was basically like, “Dude, he beat the shit out of me while tied to a chair, threw a walker in to kill me, AND to make matters even worse, delivered Maggie to a psycho who humiliated her.” If I was Glenn, I wouldn’t be forgiving that joker anytime soon either. Later on, Glenn goes to Hershel and tells him that he wants to propose to Maggie. He wants her to know how much he loves her just in case anything happens to either of them… which makes me think something is going to happen to one of them. I don’t know if my Glaggie heart will be able to handle that. Glenn goes ring shopping in the prison yard and cuts off some walker’s finger for her engagement ring. He didn’t even shop around! He cut the first one off that he saw. Then, he goes to Maggie and gives her the ring and she’s like, “Oh my God. You went to Jared?” Glenn, “No. I got it off some dead bitch’s finger over yonder.” Maggie, “The answer is yes!” How romantic, right? #ZombieApocalypseProposals. I’m honestly terrified that after this adorable moment, one of them is going to die in super dramatic Walking Dead fashion next week. I am NOT mentally prepared for that.

The Gov TWD 3x15The Gov: You sick son of a bitch. The Gov is not backing down and he means business. The fact that someone brought a herd of walkers into Woodbury didn’t even phase the mother f*cker. He just whipped out his gun and started helping take them out. THEN, when he started fighting with Merle, he bit one of his fingers off. Yeah, you heard me. HE BIT HIS FINGER OFF! That is not normal. That’s barbaric and just plain unsanitary. He doesn’t even think twice before shooting Merle and killing him. He’s emotionless. Well, I think he has one emotion, and it’s anger. I don’t know that Merle’s plan was a great idea. He only manage to take a small chunk out of Woodbury’s army but succeeded in thoroughly pissing off The Gov. This cat’s not going to be holding back in his attack on the Prison now. Mission to destroy Rick and Co., full speed ahead.

Michonne TWD 3x15Michonne: I don’t have much to say to you except, you’re a bad bitch and I hope you help take out The Gov next week. I wouldn’t mind watching you samurai sword him to death. You could finish what you started in Woodbury before Andrea’s bitch ass interrupted you. Remember her almost killing him in his lair-o-heads? It only seems fair. Here’s to hoping Michonne doesn’t suffer the same fate as Merle next week. I’m not ready to say goodbye to this fierce warrior just yet. I mean, come on! She killed like three walkers with her hands tied together and attached to a pole. That’s some serious will to stay alive right there and Team Prison could use that level of bad-assery around them. Maybe some of it will even rub off on Carol and Beth. Mmm… probably not.

Now, we have to wait an entire week until we find out what will happen to our beloved  characters. I’m positive not everyone will make it out of this war alive. Why? Because the spoilers/comics/actors said so. Who is going to save Andrea? Will The Gov survive the showdown or will we see him again in season 4? Will Rick be able to hold it together long enough to protect his people? And will Daryl be able to suppress his grief in order to help take down The Gov? There are so many unknowns here. You can read all our spoilery season 3 finale speculation here. In next week’s episode (the season finale!), we’ll see The Gov rallying his troops to take on The Prison, Andrea begging The Gov to stop what he’s doing, and Rick preparing for battle with Michonne by his side. Leave your thoughts, comments and predictions. Until next time… #FangsOut



Watch the promo for next week’s episode, 3×16 “Welcome To The Tombs”.

Listen to the music from this episode.

The Walking Dead Recap – 3×14 “Prey”

This episode was freaking intense. My heart was racing the entire time. Seeing Andrea on the run from a man that she was trying to protect (and sleeping with) just 24 hours ago was insane. I bet she’s wishing she’d listened to Michonne now. We didn’t get to see Rick (only him being a nano-second away from seeing Andrea reach the prison!), or any of Team Prison for that matter, but they certainly laid the groundwork for an epic battle next week. In this episode, we saw Tyrese prove that he’s really a good dude, Milton act like a little bitch and Andrea train for the 2016 Olympics. Let’s get down to the dirty deets.

Andrea The Walking Dead

“F*ck you Usain Bolt.”

Andrea: She finally realizes that The Gov needs to die, but instead of killing him while he’s prepping Michonne’s torture chamber, Milton convinces her to run and warn Rick and gang instead. She listens to him for some reason and blows past Tyrese and out of Woodbury. Tyrese warns The Gov that she’s left, and he’s f*cking pissed. Andrea starts her journey over the river and through the woods to try to save the prison crew from certain death. There’s nothing more terrifying than knowing the fate of the Team Prison is in the hands of Andrea. So, she’s running and she sees a truck on the road and it starts heading right for her. Of course it’s The Gov. He chases her into an abandoned building. They play a chilling game of cat and mouse with Andrea barely evading The Gov. My heart was pounding! Andrea sicks a ton of walkers on him and is able to escape the building. She continues her marathon. Let me just tell you, last time I tried to run a half mile I fell on the ground in pain and started puking on myself (not kidding), so I’m really impressed with Andrea right now. Finally, she has the prison in her sights and she raises a hand to signal to Rick that she’s there. SHIT! The Gov’s bitch ass grabs her and puts a hand over her mouth, holding her down on the ground so she’s hidden from Rick’s sight. NO!

She was so freaking close! She’s been captured, and we see her tied to a chair back in Woodbury. It certainly looks like she’s about to get tortured or just straight murdered. I don’t know, though. Maybe he’s not going to kill Andrea. Maybe he just wants to be able to brush her hair at the end of a long day. Hopefully, someone stumbles upon her and saves her. I kind of loved her by the end of the episode. She’s redeeming herself. #TeamSaveAndrea.

"Hello there, darlin'. Meet my friend, the shovel." F*cking weirdo.

“Hello there, darlin’. Meet my friend, the shovel.” F*cking weirdo.”

The Gov: My. God. Just when I think you couldn’t possibly get more creepy/psychotic/insane/serial killer-esque, you out-do yourself. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I liked you better when you were just a douchebag. It’s crazy how your ex-first lady felt safer in a stairway of walkers than with your looney ass. Even though she was behind a door hiding, she still had a f*ck ton of walkers vs. you to choose between risking her life with. *Side note*, why didn’t Andrea shut the door after she let the walkers loose on the Gov? Again with the poor life decisions! It’s like we see this glimmer of hope, and then she takes a big shit on us. What gives? Sorry, she redeemed herself this episode and is now in a very hostile situation on the set of “Saw IV.” Speaking of… did you guys check out the Gov’s lair of legit CRAZY?! I was hoping next week’s preview would consist of Liam Neeson busting in ,”Taken” style, and using his “special set of skills” on the Gov’s one-eyed bitch ass.

Take note, Ricktator. That’s how shit gets DONE. Any who, along with being a certified psychopath, the Gov was also an extreme pathological liar in this episode. He made Tyrese think that Andrea was bat shit crazy and off her pills, and tried to come off as this caring, concerned leader. UGH. What a dick. And Tyrese? Really? You believe that noise? Let me knock some sense into you.

"Something doesn't feel right...but I'm just going to keep digger a deeper hole."

“Something doesn’t feel right…but I’m just going to keep digging a deeper hole.”

Tyrese: Have you heard of this thing called, “intuition?”. Oh, you have? You know what makes intuition so relevant and meaningful? When you LISTEN TO IT. You think the Gov is a crazy mofo with a hidden agenda? Guess what Sherlock, *ding ding ding* you’re right! What are you scared of anyways? Have you seen yourself? No one will mess with you. You’re like Wolverine. Big muscles, a big heart, and killer chops. Everyone likes you. Except for the bad guys, a-la the Gov and that idiot that keeps thinking he can somehow intimidate you with his whiny voice and insecurities. #getreal. I’m ready to see Tyrese become a permanent part of Team Prison. I know it’s coming… because spoilers and the comic books told me so. Also Tyrese, I’m going to need you to work on your aim. You’re a shitty shot and there’s no time for that in a zombie apocalypse.

The-Walking-Dead-MiltonMilton: I just have a couple of things to say to you: 1) Stop being such a little bitch. Pull your head out of The Gov’s ass and realize he wouldn’t think twice about killing you. 2) Watch your back. The Gov has his “eye” on you. I have a feeling Milton won’t be supporting The Gov for much longer. He’s already fallen off the bandwagon-cult that is The Gov and “all his greatness”. Also, were you the joker that burnt up all the Walkers? (Notice how I said WALKERS not BITERS. Yeah, that still bugs the shit out of me.) The Gov seemed to give you a Michonne-style stink “eye” when he said he already knew who lit the match. #ohsnap. Milton, since you’re new at this, I’ll drop you a hint: that was a threat. You might as well pack your lab and head for the woods. At least the Walkers won’t tie you up in a torture chamber and do God knows what to you. Ah! Andrea! She bugs the crap out of me, and she needed a good reality smack in the face, but I don’t want to see the poor woman tortured! Milton, please save her. Get some of those happy pills from your lab stash and put that shit in the Gov’s coffee. Not only will it knock him out/distract him for a few hours, but it’ll put him in a better mood.

This week was all about Andrea, The Gov and Woodbury so I’m expecting an overdose of Team Prison in the next episode. Next week, we’ll see Rick contemplate giving up Michonne and… Daryl’s face again (seriously, not even a single shot of him all episode?). That’s honestly all I could really pay attention to. #TeamDaryl. Leave your thoughts, comments and predictions. Until next time…



The Walking Dead Recap – 3×13 “Arrow On The Doorpost”

Holy freaking Cowabunga! This episode was so intense. The cast did an outstanding job. Bravo! We knew we’d see a showdown between The Gov and Rick at some point, and this episode set everything in motion. The two leaders have a talk, and while it’s quite unproductive, we did learn a thing or two about The Gov. Like how creepy and unnerving he is and that he lost his wife. Also in this episode, we saw Maggie and Glenn “rekindle their flame”, Merle try to leave the prison against Glenn’s orders and Andrea continues to make poor life choices. Let’s get on down to the dirty deets.

Rick The Walking DeadRick: He has a little sit down chat with The Gov (horrible idea by the way). He realizes pretty quickly that this mother trucker isn’t going to be negotiating anything, and he doesn’t give a shit about land. I honestly think he doesn’t know how to handle The Gov. He’s calm and collected and he’s not giving in. When The Gov took that damn eye patch off, he looked intimidating as f*ck. I would have been like, you can just have the prison AND I’ll hand deliver you Michonne with a bow wrapped around her f*cking face. He gives me the heebie jeebies. The Gov is just NOT someone you want to mess with. He plays mind games and he may not be any match for Rick in hand-to-hand combat, but he’s still alive so that means something. Rick tried to talk The Gov out of killing Michonne, telling him it’s a petty vendetta but he wasn’t havin’ none of that. Rick goes back to the prison and talks to his peeps. He lies to them and tells him that The Gov told him he wants the prison and wants all of them dead. “We’re going to war.” The purpose of this lie? Why to scare them of course. TRIPLE SHIT! I already know some of our faves aren’t going to make it to the end of this season alive and it kills me.

The Gov The Walking DeadThe Gov: I feel like The Gov quite enjoyed his meeting with The Ricktator. He even calls out the fact that Rick’s baby may not be his. Really? #LowBlow. #DickMove. The Gov pulls out some whiskey for him and Rick to drink. Geez, he really loves his liquor. He’s way too calm about this whole situation, making me more sure than ever that he has some sort of psychological malfunction. Like, he’s legit bonkers. We finally got a LITTLE bit of a Gov back-story. He tells Rick how his wife died in an accident. That’s it? Is that REALLY what made him as crazy as he is now? No f*cking way. Rick woke up from a coma in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, traveled alone through a walker infested city, found his wife and kid, found out his wife bopped his bestie, killed his bestie, lost his wife, sees visions of his dead wife and has a possibly illegitimate screaming ball of poop living with him in a prison. And guess what? He’s still (sort of) holding it together. Take note Philip, because that’s how it’s f*cking done. Stop pouting. The Gov tells Rick that he wants Michonne and he’ll leave them alone if he gets her. If he doesn’t get her, he’ll kill him and his whole prison. Eek! He’s one bad mama jama. He tells Rick to think about it and he has two days to make his decision. Then, he just walks out of the barn like a flipping boss without looking back. #done. #out. #marinateonthatshit. #micdrop.

He’s a sneaky f*cking bastard. He tells one of his dudes when they see Rick and gang to just open fire on all of them but leave Michonne alive. His own people even gave him looks of disgust. I hope this is an “eye”-opener for them. Spoiler Alert people of Woodbury: Your leader’s a whack job.

Daryl The Walking DeadDaryl: First of all, who were those jokers thinking they could talk shit to Daryl mother f*cking Dixon? It was infuriating. They obviously don’t know anything about him, or they’d think twice about talking smack to him. Oh, I’m sorry. Did you see Daryl throw a knife into a walker’s face like it was no big deal? Yeah. That just happened. He even called that one guy a douche bag for not smoking menthols. Ha! AND how about him riding off on his Ape Hanger like a damn boss? #PUREMAN. Our Prince of the Trailer Park is back in action. I hope when this whole “war” goes down, he’s a major player and we get to see him slay the shit out of some zombies/bad guys/The Gov. I wouldn’t mind seeing team Dixon kick some ass together either. #ZombieApocalypseBrotherBonding. I’m also hoping we get a Daryl/Carol scene next episode. I want to know if they’re planning on taking that relationship to a different level. Just tell me!

Glenn The Walking DeadGlenn: So, he takes charge at the prison while Rick is away. Okay, we see you. He’s trying to keep Merle from leaving and going to help Daryl, saying it would put them in danger. I mean, I understand that Merle wants to help his brother and all, but he got into a fight with Glenn and he put his nub blade in his face. Totally unacceptable. Then, we finally get a Glaggie scene where they weren’t being shitty or awkward with one another. Glenn apologizes to Maggie and they hug it out… and then they straight get it on. They are so FREAKING cute and in love. Can we get a Glaggie marriage in the prison please? Side note: They really took their time with the Glenn and Maggie sex scene. It’s almost like they were trying to make a point with it. I guess it could have just been to prove they were still in love and reconciled and that tender moments can still happen amidst an apocalypse/brewing war, but I have a feeling it might mean Maggie will be getting preggers in the near future. Calling that shit right now. ALSO, I’m still calling that the new generation (Lil’ Ass Kicker) could hold a cure or immunity of some sort. Just saying.

Hershel Walking DeadHershel: OMG! They let Hershel go on the expedition to Woodbury? How dare they put Daddy Hersh in danger? If anything ever happened to him, I’d be devastated. It was nice to see him out and about though. Plus, I’m sure it was good for his ego. The Gov’s little plaid rat (Milton) talks to Hershel while Rick and The Gov are doing their little dance in the barn. The dude asks Hershel to see his stump. I’m sorry, say what? What a weird little conversation. Moving on. Thankfully, Hershel makes it out of Woodbury unscathed. As soon as I saw him hobble out to Rick at the prison, I knew he was about to drop some one-legged wisdom on him. Rick is honest with Hershel about what The Gov said regarding Michonne. Rick and Hershel both know that The Gov would probably kill them all anyway, but it’s obvious that Rick’s contemplating giving her up. I mean, what’s the leader of a successful zombie apocalypse survival group to do? Hershel sticks up for Michonne, saying that she’s earned her place among the group. Then Hershel pretty much says, “Why are you telling me this shit, dude?” Then Rick says, “Because you’re wise as f*ck and I want you to talk me out of it.” It went something like that. Even righteous Daddy Hersh may be waffling about this decision.

There is no way in holy hell that Michonne will be dying any time soon. I feel like she belongs in the group and I’m not done seeing her samurai sword the shit out of walkers. #TeamSaveMichonne. The question is, what would she do if she knew the truth about the deal The Gov tried to make with Rick? Would she sacrifice herself? No doubt she’s starting to care for these people. Whatever happens, I hope we don’t have to say goodbye to this fierce warrior. Next week, Andrea comes to her senses about The Gov a few weeks too late and the two groups prepare for war. Oh! And we get to see Tyrese again. Woohoo! Go Team Prison! Until next time..




The Walking Dead 3x12

Last night’s episode was…weird. But, it was totally necessary. Rick admitted he’s bat shit cray, Carl once again annoyed the hell out of us (even though he did get Lil’ Ass Kicker a crib), and Michonne kind of got on our good side. Let’s get down to the dirty deets:

"And you all thought I was crazy..."

“And you all thought I was crazy…”

Rick: Geez oh Pete’s mister, you have lost your marbles. However, I saw glimpses of the old Rick last night. The old Rick would never have left crazy Morgan alone in his city of stakes and booby traps, either. And I take the part about Rick losing his marbles back. Rick is as stable as a coma patient (pun intended) compared to that Morgan joker. Rick sees hallucinations of his wife in a wedding dress, and this guy has made his walls his own personal journal. I’m not talking about a journal you wrote in when you were twelve with a 1-5 ranking of the boys you liked. This guy had rando serial killer words and a map of the whole town the Grimes’ used to live in. Which is completely practical considering…it doesn’t f*cking matter anymore. Anyways, I think the point of this episode was to show the audience that Rick will be OK. They had to throw another kind of crazy in there to show that Rick isn’t as bad as everyone thinks he is (well, sort of). At the end of the episode Rick straight up admitted to Michonne, “yeah I’m a looney, so…you drive.” Michonne was all like, “yeah, that’s cool. I used to talk to my old boyfriend. Who’s dead. #nobigs.” Then they moved on. Oh, and stole some poor man’s really nice duffel after he was mauled by Walkers (and begged them for help, which they refused). #apocolypseproblems #survivalofthefittest #getwiththeprogram

"Bitch, don't you touch my cat sculpture!"

“Bitch, don’t you touch my cat sculpture!”

Michonne: I always knew she was a crazy cat lady pre-apocalypse! (Did you check out that sweet cat sculpture she snaked from the restaurant? #weird) She really stepped it up in this episode. I honestly don’t believe she has any ulterior motives. She just wants to belong! I mean think about it, she’s never been a bad person, just kind of bitter and stubborn. We also never saw her around children before, and seeing her interact with Carl showed a softer, sincere side. I mean she didn’t have to get that picture of Carl, Lori and Rick for him from that Walker-infested restaurant. But seeing his stupid little face get all sad about it had some sort of effect on her. Or, she was just hoping he’d get mauled by Walkers or lose that damn sheriff hat. Either way, we gained a whole new perspective on Michonne. I think we even saw her, *GASP*, smile?! Maybe not, she could have just been thinking about slicing Carl’s head off. #toofar?

"I love risking other's lives for no reason but my selfish, childish motives."

“I love risking other’s lives for no reason but my selfish, childish motives.”

Carl: UGH. You’re such a brat! Yeah, let’s leave your nut-job dad with the even nuttier Morgan in a room full of enough guns to start WW5, just so you can paint the town red all for a damn picture. Da fucque is wrong with you? Then, you take Rick’s only defense (Michonne) and risk her life while she baby sits you. You drive me INSANE. It was kind of badass though how Rick was all perched and military-like about to make a move on Morgan, and Carl just walked up like a freaking boss and BOOM. Shot him. Rick was all worried that Carl would be “upset” for shooting a non-Walker. Um, Rick…he shot his mom IN THE FACE. (After he watched her give birth to his baby sister.) Give me a more traumatic scenario, and I’ll give you my Vampire Diaries Con Gold Pass Ticket. Ok, I won’t do that. But really, Carl is fine. The guy didn’t even die. And even if he did, Carl would just go mope in a corner somewhere and cause more trouble that would ultimately put more people in danger, and then probably die. It’s what he does. I guess he has a purpose: f*cking shit up. More than we can say about Morgan, though…

"The difference between you and me, Rick, is that I KNOW I'M CRAZY!"

“The difference between you and me, Rick, is that I KNOW I’M CRAZY!”

Morgan: Dude?! What happened? You were so with it way back when you saved Rick in season one. Right…? Actually, let’s think about this for a second: you kept your son in a neighborhood full of Walkers, where he couldn’t talk too loud, laugh, or enjoy the outdoors. Oh yeah, and his mom was “walking” around outside 24/7. Come to think of it, that’s some pretty psychotic behavior. Like, f*cked up. Shoot your zombie wife and get your son out of there (he died, PS. #RIP)! And don’t get so damn pissed about the walkie talkie. So, what, like eight months later you decide to turn the walkie on, and you really expected Rick to be like, “yeah, bro! I’ve just been sitting here waiting for you!” God. What an idiot. So his solution is to create a Lord of the Flies-like lair and write creepy ass shit on the walls. Let’s not forget about the hundreds of guns he hoarded, too. At least Rick and Crew militia’d up. They will be locked and loaded when it comes to the showdown with the Gov. Hell yeah!

So like I said, last night’s episode was totally bizarre, but totally necessary. Rick has admitted he has a problem, #firststeptowardsrecovery, and he seems to be in a somewhat stable place for what’s to come. The Prison Gang is now armed with weapons till the end of the zombie apocalypse,  and from the look’s of next week’s preview they are going to need them. Apparently, Andrea seems to fall for another one of the Gov’s lies and schedules a “peaceful” meeting between him and Rick. Come on, girl. We all know he is using you and your naked body double to do his dirty work. #youresmarterthanthat #notreallythough

Until next time…



The Walking Dead Recap – 3×11 “I Ain’t A Judas”

The Walking Dead 3x11

The Gov is such a perfect villain. He’s so evil without saying anything at all. It’s just the look in his eye. Did you guys notice he got a proper pirate patch for his peeper? Finally! In this episode, we see Rick attempt to pull it together, Michonne dish out some of the worst stink eyes we’ve seen from her in a while and Andrea try to come to her senses about The Gov and fail. Let’s get down to the dirty deets.

Rick The Walking DeadRick: When your adolescent son (who shot his mom in the face) tells you it’s time to step down… it’s time to step down. Just sayin’. Why don’t you just let Daryl run the show for a bit? So, Andrea shows up at the prison and Rick doesn’t trust her. When she starts telling him that they should try to work things out with The Gov and join Woodbury, he’s pretty much just like, “F*ck you, bitch” and walks away. I don’t really blame him. Just 24 hours ago, The Gov shot up the prison with no regard of who he killed. He could have killed Carl. By the end of the episode, it looks like Rick might be in a better place mentally. Then, ALERT THE MEDIA, Rick held his baby and actually looked happy about it. He didn’t even see ghost Lori the entire episode. That has to be a good sign, right?

The Gov The Walking DeadThe Gov: This mother f*cker is bonkers. He lined up every able body in Woodbury to create a little army. He didn’t even care that the one kid had asthma. So rude! His little rat of a side-kick ran and told him that Andrea was trying to go out to the prison without telling him. The Gov told him to help her. He obviously has no regard for Andrea, and I’m sure he never really did. He is completely hell-bent on killing Rick. To make things worse, Tyrese and his gang are at Woodbury getting patched up when The Gov comes in to say hello. Tyrese spills the beans that they were at the prison and say that Rick’s a freaking psycho and they’ll help him get into the prison. Really? I feel like Tyrese is a smart enough guy to realize that The Gov is no good. Hopefully, he figures that out before he builds him a 3-D model of the prison made of toothpicks. This is so bad. Someone kill this joker already!

Andrea The Walking DeadAndrea: She leaves the town to head for the prison. She takes a page from Michonne’s book, cuts off some walker’s arms and then curb stomps him in order to use him as a decoy. #fiercebitch. She runs into Tyrese and Co. in the woods (remember Rick went nuts and made them leave?). They’ve never met each other which is highly inconvenient because Andrea tells them about Woodbury, and when they ask her what the French she’s doing in the woods with a walker on a leash that looks like those robot claw grabber toy things you can buy with about 550 tickets at the arcade, she’s like, “Oh, just on my morning jog.” Right… okay. Maggie spies Andrea coming towards the prison gate and alerts the group. They help her inside (well Rick all but punches her in the face) and she reunites with the group. Seeing her with all of them again warmed my f*cking heart. She belongs with these people. Michonne and Andrea get to talk for the first time in what seems like forever. It’s easy to forget these two have such a history. Michonne drops the bomb that The Gov sent Merle to kill her. Are you getting it yet Andrea? Apparently not, because when she’s back in Woodbury and has the chance to kill him while he’s sleeping, she can’t do it. Girl, be the fierce woman you are and END HIM!

Daryl The Walking DeadDaryl: Carol is the only person that he’ll listen to. When she calls the prison their “home” after telling him she’s glad he’s back, he calls it a tomb. I know you’re upset about your situation Daryl, but this place is a step up from your previous situations over the past couple of years so you should appreciate that. Then, she tells him that his brother is no good for him and he just smirks and chuckles. If anyone else tried to say that to him, he’d rock their face with his bow. I just hope Daryl can keep his brother in check at the prison. I don’t want to see Daryl have to be torn between his asshole bro and his Team Prison family. Oh, and I’m still waiting for Daryl and Carol’s relationship to go to the next level. All in all, there was definitely NOT enough Daryl in this episode. I’ll be expecting a Daryl overload next week.

Merle The Walking DeadMerle: I told Merle last week to jazz that nub back up and apparently he listened. He started putting a new blade on it using Duct tape. Every quality redneck knows that Duct tape fixes everything. Lamps, TVs, car bumpers, leaky roofs and even nubs. Merle has a talk with Hershel about how crazy The Gov is and then goes to try to clear the air with Michonne. She’s not having it. You wouldn’t either if someone chased you through the damn woods trying to kill you. Merle has a lot of work to do if he wants to reclaim a spot in the group. Everyone is against him right now. I don’t think he’d dare do anything at the prison because he’s totally out numbered. However, I do think if it came down to it, he’d sacrifice someone to save himself (Shane style). Let’s just hope that Merle can get his shit together, because if he pulls one more dick move, I’m done with him.

Hershel The Walking DeadHershel: I say this every week but, Hershel is wise as f*ck. He tells Rick to shape up, get his head together and do something. He’s right. Now is definitely not the time to have a psychotic breakdown, but then again, when is? Hershel has a little chat with Merle in the prison. I mean, what are the chances that two people who lost limbs because of Rick end up in a prison having a heart to heart? Merle surprises the shit out of us by reciting a Bible verse. I thought he probably just read Hustler Mags that he picked up from whatever road-side gas station he just raided. #CharacterDevelopment. Merle does share with Hershel how bat shit crazy The Gov is. They’d all be wise to listen to this. Hershel spends the rest of the episode just being awesome in general and making grand-fatherly comments like a f*cking boss. I would like someone to create a pocket-sized toy Hershel that when you pull the string on his back he says some wise shit to make you feel better about your life like, “At least you don’t have one leg in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. Marinate on that.” God, that would be so awesome. I’m a f*cking genius.

Next week, it looks like Team Prison is on the offense and attacking Woodbury. Hopefully they left the prison guarded well enough since Tyrese knows how to get into the prison and seems pretty willing to share this intel with The Gov. Will Andrea be able to betray The Gov? Will Rick’s hallucinations stop long enough to take him out? And will Carl really be ready to step up to the plate? Leave your thoughts, comments and predictions. Until next time…



The Walking Dead Recap – 3×10 “Home”

The Walking Dead Rick 3x10

Holy freaking clown car full of zombies. This episode was balls to the wall. I was having serious chest pains during the last 15 minutes. Shit is bad for Team Prison right now. Real bad. In this episode, Rick goes on a soul quest in the woods, Daryl teaches Merle the difference between Chinese and Korean, and Lori continues to f*ck shit up even from beyond the grave. Let’s get down to the dirty deets.

RickRick: Before I even go into his Lori hallucinations, let me just point out that he is completely neglecting that baby. It’s annoying as shit, but it’s still yours Rick (we think). Thank the Lord everyone else in the prison is willing to take care of it. Carl is no doubt concerned about his dad too, but I’m sure he sees his father’s dive off the deep end as a chance for advancement to group leader. #CorporateLadder. Rick wanders off into the woods because he sees Grecian Lori on the other side of the fence. When Hershel hobbles out to ask him what the french toast he’s doing, he says “stuff”. Rick says he’s waiting for something and he thinks the fact that he is seeing Shane and Lori must mean something. Really?

I’ll tell you what it “means” Rick. It means that all the head trauma and mental stress you’ve endured since you woke up in that damn hospital bed is finally taking its effect. You REALLY think that you can endure all that and not suffer some sort of brain malfunction? #FatChance. By the way, I don’t know why Rick still refuses to listen to Hershel. How many times does Hershel have to drop his one-legged wisdom on Rick before he realizes he should just do what he says? #DaddyHershKnowsBest. Rick did step up when his group was under attack by the Gov, though. He was trying to be sneaky in that tall grass, doing what he could from a distance to contribute to the fight. Daryl had to save his ass because he was about two seconds away from having a highly unsanitary, full-on make out sesh with a couple of walkers. Rick’s face at the end of the episode, when the Gov finally retreated, was awesome. He’s pissed!

“Howdy. My name is Rick Grimes. You shot up my prison. Prepare to die.”

Rick’s going to be out for blood. F*ck yeah! Get em’ Rick! We just have to hope when he comes face-to-face with the Gov, he doesn’t get distracted by his visions of Lori. She’s dead and she’s still ruining everything. #NotSurprised.

DarylDaryl:  THE BOW IS BACK. I slapped myself in the face for a solid hour last night. Just when I thought Daryl couldn’t be more of a f*cking man, last night happened. Not only does he single-handedly take out a bridge of Walkers and save a crying child and it’s parents, he stood up to his dick head big brother and made it back to #TeamPrison in time to save (what’s left of) Rick. #PURE.F*CKING.MAN. I just can’t say that enough. When Merle ripped Daryl’s shirt off, we got a glimpse of some scars. I need that “back” story ASAP. So, now that the whole gang is back, Merle and all, what will happen next? I wonder if Daryl coming back and them getting attacked was the kick in the face that Rick needed to shape his shit up. Daryl will do anything he can for family, and that’s exactly what those people are. I am itching for a Daryl/Carol reunion scene, though. I still want to see where they take that. Regardless, their love is pure, genuine, and makes me want to vomit all over my clearance Target throw that I cuddle with every Sunday night. #truth.

MerleMerle: You are a stupid little nincompoop. You convince Daryl to leave his group for you, and then you act like a grade-A asshole. Robbing someone’s car when they have a baby? I mean, really? #DickMove. What a waste of Daryl’s time. I had high hopes for you at the beginning of this season. You ARE Daryl’s blood, so I thought maybe you had just an ounce of the amazing-ness that he has pumping through your veins, but you don’t. You might be hopeless after all. Your only saving grace is that you slayed some zombies outside the prison in order to help Rick. You have major ass-kissing to do if you hope to stay in that prison. Merle, for your own safety, I highly recommend you start fashioning a new nub blade like… yesterday. Being one-armed isn’t going to go well for you if you have to go up against Rick and gang OR the Gov. Jazz that f*cking nub back up. P.S. Thank you for tearing Daryl’s shirt off even if your intention wasn’t to make me hot and bothered. #NotSorry.

The GovThe Gov: He’s done lost it. He tells Andrea that she can’t leave for the prison because Woodbury needs her and tells her that he’s not fit to lead the town anymore. He’s a lying sack of dog shit. He heads to the prison after he tells her that he won’t retaliate, unloading a truck full of walkers inside the gates and making it rain bullets up in there, Rambo style. He’s seriously psychotic. He had no fear during the ambush scene.  None! I want a flashback of his childhood. I’m going to guess it involved burning ants with a magnifying glass everyday at recess at the children’s wing of a psychiatric ward. He is straight emotionless. I think it’s because he’s going through Penny-hair-brushing withdrawals. But who knows? Maybe he still brushes her hair even though she has a gaping hole in her face and a blood-stained cardigan. I wouldn’t put it past him. Anyway, he wants the prison and he wants Rick and Co. dead and gone. #EyeOnThePrize (just the one). Oh, and can the Gov please get a legit eye patch instead of that piece of gauze Scotch taped to his face? A proper villain needs a proper patch for his peeper.

AndreaAndrea: As if she wasn’t on an obnoxious power trip already, the Gov fueled the fire even more by telling her she should just run Woodbury. While he’s grieving his dead zombie daughter and being half-blind, he wants her to take over the town? #DAFUCQUE. I can’t even stand this. I hate this almost as much as I hate #Gandrea getting sideways in his lair-o-heads. Girl, you’re better than this! You know how you could redeem yourself, Andrea? Going back where you f*cking belong. With your people! Head to #TeamPrison and defend that bitch. It’s a PRISON for crying out loud. The damn place was built so no one could get in or out. I’m sure they’ll even give you your own cell block so you can be all depressed and power-tripping in there. Just don’t think we’ll stand for you banging rando crazies up in that place. Lil’ Ass Kicker needs a good environment to grow up in, and your poor life decisions will only damper that. Straighten up. I’m looking forward to you joining #TeamPrison next week and redeeming yourself. Don’t disappoint me. Like, seriously.

MaggieGlaggie: Glenn is doing the best he can, but let’s be honest. He ain’t no Sheriff Rick (pre-hallucinations). Glenn is running on pure frustration and isn’t thinking with a clear conscious. He bitched out his sort-of father-in-law (Hershel), and bullied his girlfriend into sharing her traumatic moment with the Gov. Let a girl grieve! She’s had it rough, too! She delivered a child on a nasty water-heater room floor, hasn’t showered in a month, and heard her boyfriend get the shit beaten out of him while creepy mc-creepster touched her boob. Glenn dipped out right before the attack to “take on Woodbury”. What the hell? That was the worst leadership decision made in the entire series. Luckily, he gets back in time to save Hershel from being mauled by Walkers in the field. Ugh. Hershel. He’s like a damn cockroach. Can’t kill that one. Anyways, Glenn and Maggie seemed to have gotten over their tiff post-attack, and now that the gang’s all back together I am anxious to see what happens next.

The show is gearing up for a major showdown between Rick and the Gov. The Gov MUST die! He’s too much of a threat now that he’s attacked their make-shift home, and the prison is too prime of a spot to just leave. Now that Daryl is officially back, and Merle is sharing intel on Woodbury (a-la sneak peek of next week’s episode), maybe they have a fighting chance at taking down the Gov. Next week, Carol tells Daryl that Merle is no good for him (no shit Sherlock), Rick gets told to step down from the throne by his own son and the Gov tells Andrea not to come back if she leaves Woodbury. I really hope this is the end of all things Gandrea. Leave your thoughts, comments and predictions. Until next time…



Oh, and don’t think we forgot about the Badass Daryl Gifs Of The Week: