Jeremy Carver is clearly an evil genius. He has written one of the best episodes of Supernatural, and then left us hanging at the end of, arguably, the show’s strongest season. Just look at the montage from the season as ‘Carry On My Wayward Son’ plays. From ‘Hunteri Heroci’, ‘LARP & the Real Girl’ and ‘Goodbye Stranger’, and so many others, this Season has propelled forward the myth arc of the Winchesters, given them a home, killed off the ultimate frenemy (Meg), introduced a new arch enemy (Abaddon) & given the boys a new sister (Charlie!).
So, to end this all, Carver decided to hurt us, in so many ways…
Carrying on from last week, we’re revisiting old friends. And here is Sheriff Jody Mills. She looks great! Really lovely, out on a blind date, with Roderick…who’s really Crowley. And he’s laying on the charm thick and fast. So, as she goes out to powder her nose, all smiley and slightly tipsy, he starts chanting. She applies her lipstick, and finds the hex bag, just in time to start coughing up blood. NO, not Jody! She’s been through enough! And then Crowley gets interrupted by the phone, ah, Sir Mix a Lot!
So, as Jody collapses on the floor, Dean agrees to meet to swap tablets. Only thing is, we don’t know if he actually ever says “I Surrender”, like Crowley wants him to. So, does Jody survive or not? Aaarrggh, we don’t know!
Following on the deal being struck, Kevin goes and digs up the other half of the demon tablet from underneath a devil chili sign. Makes sense to me. You wouldn’t forget where it is, would you? Dean gives him the key to the MOL bunker so he can stay there until all is resolved. So, it seems like it could all be finally over for Kevin. Yeah, right…
Houston, Texas: Cas & Marv are hanging out at a bus stop. They’re keeping an eye on a bar owner, Dwight, while discussing what God was really like. Apparently, among other things, slightly sexist, but ultimately fair. Dwight is due to be visited by Cupid in the next 24 hours, so they’re hanging out to see Cupid and retrieve its’ bow as the second Trial on the Angel Tablet. Cas isn’t the most patient at this point, so he decides to try and move things along. He explains to Marv that he has knowledge of this due to his work with humans. Great! So, having checked the personal ads he asks Dwight whether he’s “…looking for a partner in crime, or someone who’s into nurse role-play & light domination.” His subtlety is wonderful, huh? Naomi has been tipped off that Cas & MetaMarv are at the bar, and arrives with her heavies to collect them. Well, the initial plan seems to be to seize Metatron, and kill Cas, but Dwight shoots at one of the henchmen, and distracts her. So, Metatron is taken to heaven, and Cas is left alone.
Sioux Falls, South Dakota: In the meantime, Sam & Dean have arrived at their meeting point with Crowley. It’s Singer’s Salvage Yard. *Sniff* They stop for a moment and look at Bobby’s car, rusting away *Whimper*. And then, there’s Crowley. I know he’s evil, I know he’s been the thorn in the boys’ side for a long time, but I love Crowley! He’s like Dean’s dark side. They share a similar sense of humor, and are a great double act. So, they agree to exchange the tablets (I’ll show you mine if you show me yours), followed by the ridiculously long contract, which has to be signed by Sam as he’s the one going through the trials.
Dean acts as attorney, and insists on reading the fine print, whilst moving his lips. Eventually, he agrees that he’s satisfied enough for Sam to sign, and as they nod in agreement to each other, they slap the demon warded handcuffs on Crowley. Oh, Dean relishes in informing him that he is now their bitch. And yes, as it had to be, Crowley is the Third Trial, the demon to be cured. Quite frankly, anyone else would have been an insult.
Church (Sam, Dean & Crowley): They bring Crowley to a church to start the cure. He is trussed up in the chains and in a Devil’s Trap, and Sam is retrieving gear from the car. Seemingly, he still needs to go through confession, sans priest, to purify his blood for the cure. Really? I thought everything he’d already done would have been enough. But, anyway…. So, Sam’s feeling pretty confident, like they actually have a chance of winning for once, and just needs to figure out what to confess before he starts the cure. And luckily, he’s got his supportive big brother on hand to help him. Well, you can confess about Ruby, Lilith, releasing Lucifer from his cage, not looking for me in Purgatory….Nice, Dean. Take him down a peg or ten just when he’s starting to feel good about himself.
Cas arrives looking for help. He explains to Dean that Naomi has seized Metatron while they were trying to complete the Second Trial on the Angel Tablet. What??!! Dean smells a rat. The guy who was hiding out for centuries suddenly wants to become the savior of Heaven? He wants to stay and chaperone Sam, but Sam tells him to go. That way they could be rid of all the Angels & Demons. So, Dean agrees to leave, and promises to be back in 8 hours, but orders Sam to continue even if he’s not. Cue hug….cue hug…..where’s the freaking hug? This has been the Hug Season! No hugging = bad.
With Dean and Cas gone, Sam gets to work on the cure. Not surprisingly, the initial results are less than impressive, with Sam’s arms glowing white, and Crowley calling him Moose. An hour later, when he administers the second dose, Crowley bites him, really hard. I’m laughing at Sam’s reaction, “Biting, really?”, as though he’s speaking to a child who should know better. He is a demon, Sam. He’s bound to do something! Sam runs out to bandage his arm, and Crowley spits Sam’s blood into his hand, using it to perform an S.O.S spell.
Heaven: Naomi is working her magic on Metatron. Although they haven’t met before, he’s aware of who she is. She was due to ‘debrief’ him for the Archangels after God left, but he ran away before she could. So, she wants to know why he’s back, too. Obviously, they were always going to look for him, and find him. Best way to find out what’s going on in an angels’ mind is clearly through his eye with a drill. Eeeeewwww… Have fun, Marv!
Dean & Cas: First stop for Dean & Cas is to the MOL bunker to give Kevin the Angel Tablet. So, you have 6 hours to translate it – go! Kevin is sulking. This is meant to be over for him. As he pours himself a whisky and tries to look big, Cas not so gently reminds him that he is a Prophet of the Lord until he ceases to exist, and that is that. No more Tiger Mommy, so Tiger Angel instead.
Dean & Cas go to the bar to keep an eye on Dwight and wait for Cupid. Cas is still trying to find Dwight a woman, but can’t seem to find a real one. Dean’s drinking on the job is worrying Cas, ha! Finally, in a scene that Dean finds scarily familiar, Gail, the attractive delivery lady, arrives. She’s filling in for Frank, who’s off sick with flu. There’s smiles all round between Gail, Dwight & Rod, who’s at the bar most days. She thanks them with a hand on each of their shoulders.and leaves? As the guys suddenly notice each other during a crossbow commercial on TV, Dean is once again, surprised.
He just has no gaydar at all, does he? They follow Gail outside to ask for her bow. Well, Dean wants to ask, Cas has his angel blade at the ready. No, Cas, talk first, stab later. Words to live by! Cupid has had enough of the chaos in Heaven too. She has been avoiding going home because of it, and is willing to give Cas her bow if he can sort things out. Her bow appears as a mark in her hand which he has to carve out. Now, I for one, have been waiting for the happy, chubby man who appeared in ‘My Bloody Valentine’ to appear. You know, the guy in the nappy that kept hugging everyone? I liked him. Oh well, guess not all the Cupids are cherubs after all.
Heaven: Naomi has been digging inside MetaMarv’s brain. She’s asking him why he’s doing what he’s doing. Which is…? No, not yet. Hmm…
Church (Sam & Crowley): They are over 5 hours in to the curing process, and Sam is looking like shit. No other way of putting it. Crowley is still Crowley, singing Bowie and calling Sam every version of moose he can think of. Suddenly, the earth shakes and the floor cracks, breaking the Devil’s Trap. In walks Abaddon. I’ve been wondering where she went. “Hello boys,” she says. Hey Crowley, she’s stealing your lines!
She’s a little bit miffed and wants a word with Crowley, alone apparently. So she throws Sam out the window. Time travelling through a closet and having her head chopped off were annoying, but what’s really got her goat is that Crowley is now the King of Hell. Not quite the rescue party he was hoping for as she punches and kicks him. I should point out that she was handpicked by Lucifer to be one of his Knights, so she sees Crowley as very much beneath her. Abaddon has decided it’s time for a regime change, for a Queen of Hell, perhaps? Sam interrupts by dousing her with holy oil and setting her alight. That’s it, her meat suit is gone, and she smokes out immediately.
Sam rights Crowley back in his chair, fixes the Devil’s Trap. Crowley can’t believe it! They’ve just done battle together, he’s proud of Sam. Doesn’t he feel it? Sam administers the 6th dose. Crowley starts to tell him how this has bonded them, like in Band of Brothers, or Girls! Turns out, he only wants to be loved, really loved. Sam is now staring at him, as are the rest of us. WHAT? And his voice has changed…
Dean & Cas: Dean is on the phone to Kevin to see how he’s getting on with the translation of the Angel Tablet. While Kevin explains that not only is there no mention of the Neiphilim or the Cupid, and that sports analogies aren’t for everyone, Dean… Naomi appears. Cas just about remembers not to stab her on sight. So, she poked around Metatron’s head. No, he’s not completing the trials of the Angel Tablet. He’s trying to cast out all the angels from Heaven and down to earth. Now, that’s revenge! MetaMarv is also aware of something else – that Sam will die when he completes the Third Trial, that his sacrifice is part of it. Funny, he never mentioned it. And finally, she has also realized that she has been mistaken. That her job was to protect God’s creation, and she lost sight of it. Hooray! She’s redeemed!! Ok, I’m biased. I just don’t want my good name associated with the ultimate bitch of Supernatural. So, Dean tells Kevin to keep working and tells Cas to get him back to Sam.
Church (Sam & Crowley): Now, Crowley starts to speak politely to Sam, and call him by name. He asks him what he said in confession. No, it’s a trap, don’t tell him. But, he seems very different. “Where do I start to look for forgiveness?”, he asks. Really? Is the cure actually working? Sam doesn’t engage in the discussion, he’s too smart for that. He just tells him to start with the next injection, and Crowley offers his neck obediently.
So, now all the injections have been completed, Sam starts the exorcism. Sam looks like a washed up junkie. The man could be knocked over by a strong wind at this point. As he cuts his hand to complete the cure, Dean walks in, and tells him to stop. He breaks the news that if he completes the Trial, Sam will die. Sam’s reaction is, “So?”
Heaven: Cas, on the other hand, still convinced that Naomi was lying and Metatron is truthful, goes back to Heaven to sort it out. Only to have an Angel Blade held to his throat by Metatron. Naomi is in a pool of blood, from a hole in her head given to her with her own drill. As Marv drags a blade across Cas’ throat, he makes a small niche and removes his Grace, he explains that these were never the trials. This was a spell. You sly, nasty little… And to top it off, he doesn’t kill Cas, he sends him back to earth, as a mortal, and tells him to find a wife and have a family and then tell him his stories when his soul comes to Heaven after he dies. Does this mean he’s not all bad, maybe just slightly deluded? Ohhh, I don’t knowww…
Church (Sam, Dean & Crowley): There now follows possibly the most heartbreaking scene in the history of Supernatural. Crowley is almost cured, but Dean wants Sam to stop. With all the knowledge they now have, they can fight demons more effectively than ever before, but he can’t do it alone. Sam explains how he barely does it with him, how all he ever does is let him down, how that was his confession – Sobbing now, can’t type –
…how he has had to watch Dean replace him with an angel, and then a vampire. How the hell is Dean holding it together? Sam is crying his eyes out, and quite frankly, he’s in such bad shape, this could end him, and then Dean – Man, these people are trying to kill me – tells Sam how he matters more than anything, how he killed Benny for him, how he’d let Crowley and every other demon go to save him. So, how to stop? Sam’s arms are glowing white; the blood is dripping from his wound. Dean bandages him up, hugs him – see, big hugs = good – and tells him to let it go. And it works, for a second.
He ends up dragging Sam outside the church. “I’ve got you little brother, you’re going to be just fine” I’m floored again. Sam’s gasping for air. Dean’s roaring for Cas, who has now landed back on Earth, probably mortal, and Kevin’s leaving the MOL bunker. WHY?? Don’t know, but there’s all sorts of alarm bells starting to sound, and red lights, and the table in the war room lights up. Cas is running looking at the sky, and then Dean looks up to see the sky full of falling angels, like teardrops of fire, crashing to the ground.
What, it’s over? Really? REALLY!! You leave me with this amazing cliffhanger, after this amazing Season and I’m meant to be ok? I’m an emotional disaster. What now? What about Sam? How’s he going to get better? Was Kevin just heading out on a beer run? What’s going to happen to Crowley? Who is he at this stage? What are the angels going to do on earth? Is anyone safe? Is Abaddon going to release Lucifer from the cage? Are the souls in Heaven going to notice yet another change in management, do they have a tenants committee? What comebacks will we see in Season 9? The door has been left pretty wide open on them. (May I quietly suggest GHOSTFACERS FOR SEASON 9 PLEASE!) It’s all too much. Flippin’ Hellatus… See you in the fall!
Written by: Naomi (@gizmolg13)