Holy awkward slow dances and bedazzled dresses. That episode was simply amazing. May I just say, their prom was beautiful and über classy. My prom was in the freaking school cafeteria and I think they scotch taped some tinsel and feathers to the walls to jazz it up a little. Now I feel like my prom experience was a complete sham. I feel gypped. In this episode, we saw Elena not only continue to be a raging bitch, but somehow manage to kick it up a notch and ruin everyone’s prom… and attempt to kill some people. We also saw Rebekah trying to prove she can be human, Bonnie slow dance with a ghost in a tux and Damon drink out of a flask all night in an attempt to deal with the pain of Elena’s rejection and having to watch a bunch of teens dancing around in fancy attire saying this is the most important night of their lives when he knows in ten years they won’t even remember who the hell they went with. It’s alright, Damon. I spent my senior prom the exact same way. Booze and all. Let’s get down to the dirty deets.
Elena: Cheese and rice, bitch. Your marbles are so f*cking lost right now that they’re currently riding the rings of freaking Saturn. Elena and Rebekah live together now, but only because everyone else hates her so much that they can’t tolerate her for more than 30 seconds at a time. This is not surprising in the least because I feel the exact same way. Rebekah and Elena run into Bonnie and Caroline at a prom dress shop and share an awkward moment. Elena comments on how she likes the dress Caroline’s wearing and Caroline politely reminds her that she helped her pick it out months ago when they were friends and before she tried to KILL her. What’s the next thing we see? Elena walking out of the house in Caroline’s damn prom dress. That is so not cool. Girl code is very strict when it comes to prom dresses. You do NOT steal your friend’s dress that she’s been planning on wearing for months. Although, Caroline should just be glad there weren’t two of the same dress in the store, because there’s nothing worse than someone wearing the same dress as you to mother trucking prom. Trust me, I would know. It happened to me at my senior prom AND, here’s the kicker, the girl wearing it was actually my date’s ex!
I know! Tragic, right? That’s where the flask came in. Anyway, Elena is greeted by both Salvatore brothers and goes all independent woman on them saying she doesn’t need a babysitter. They’re not having it and insist on escorting her anyway. And so the hottest love triangle on the face of the planet head off to prom for a night of magic, romance and holding hands under decorative string lights. NOT! Elena gets to prom and immediately starts acting like a little bitch by choking the shit out of April and telling her she better announce that Rebekah is prom queen or else. She shares a dance with Stefan that made me want to puke all over myself it was so cute and sexual. But alas, it meant nothing to her at all (or at least that’s what she said). When April announces Matt and Bonnie as the prom king and queen, she tells Rebekah she has a stellar idea. It went something like this: Elena, “If Bonnie dies, Silas can’t bring dead shit back.” Rebekah, “I can’t kill her because I’ve got a bet with my brother, or else I would. Sorry.” Elena, “It’s fine girl. I’ll kill her myself.” Elena goes to kill Bonnie who basically bitch slaps her with her witch joojoo and then walks away. Enter Matt and April. Elena smashes April’s face on a table, bites her neck and then casually leaves the room. She tries to kill Bonnie again and fails miserably, only finding herself being vervained and carried away by Stefan and Damon. Good! Lock this crazy woman up!
First of all, you could tell Elena felt something when looking at those pictures of her and Jeremy and then when she was dancing with Stefan. You could see it. So, she’s not a completely lost cause. All I know is, they better torture the shit out of her in that cellar and get her humanity back. I can barely handle the way she’s been talking to her friends and putting their lives in jeopardy. Suffice to say, she’s going to hate herself when she gets her humanity back.
Damon & Stefan: Oh, I just feel so bad for you both right now. Actually, I am going to retract that statement. You two just need to move on. Why are you so hell bent on helping Elena? You boys need to do you for a while. Head back to that island of mystery and find yourself a local to get necky with. You deserve it! I must say, though, that Stefan/Elena dance scene was nasty as hell, and I loved it. Not sure it was the right tactic, though. Humanity or not, that shit was hot. I don’t think she felt her humanity coming back, but she sure felt something. Anyways, Silas appeared to each of those boys as each other, said some mean shit, and then stabbed them. This guy is an #ASSHOLE. But yet, he just wants to, “be put out of his misery.” Really, Silas? No one’s going to go for that bullshit. Speaking of…
Silas: Well, no wonder you make yourself look like everyone else! Damn boy, you need some Olay moisturizer like, yesterday. I would be halogramming the shit out of myself to appear as others, too, if I looked like that. Your ex-girlfriend must really hate you. Well played on the hijacking of the cure, though. Silas made himself appear to be Rebekah, and approached Elijah on how she’d been a good little human all day. He tricked Elijah (in his Rebekah suit) into giving him the cure, and walked off crop-dusting a metaphoric mic drop all the way back to his cave. Elijah had no clue! Then, Rebekah calls Elijah all panicky, and Elijah realizes that he didn’t give Rebekah the cure, but Silas! Elijah, you’re an Original vampire, why didn’t you lift your coat tails and chase down Silas?! Silas can’t be that fast. Well, actually, he’s probably fast as f*ck. I mean if the guy can turn into anyone he wants, I’m sure his super-speed surpasses an Original’s. #sorryboutya
Bonnie: The episode starts out with Bonnie at Jeremy’s grave and Jer appearing behind her. He’s yelling at her to wake the f*ck up and she’s pretty confused until she does wake up… in the middle of a fire pit. She has inadvertently barbecued her couch and almost herself. It’s okay though, she just uses her magic to extinguish the fire, but the couch is definitely ruined. Bonnie, I’m almost positive Ashley Furniture is having a nation wide sale right now. You’re welcome. Bonnie looks beautiful at the prom, escorted by Matt. She tries to be sweet to Elena, telling her she misses her and wants to help her, but Elena just tells her that she’s a walking reminder of all the awful shit in her life. Ouch! Bonnie is prom queen, which she deserves, but the happiness is short-lived. Elena attempts to kill her and Bonnie pretty much knocks her down to size like she’s swatting a fly.
How do you like them apples, Elena? Throughout the night, we saw what we thought was ghost Jeremy appearing to Bonnie, dressed in a fancy tux. Once “Jeremy” starts talking about how she could use her magic to bring him back, she realizes that it’s Silas. Jeremy/Silas appears to her again outside the dance and Bonnie starts shouting at him to get up out of her grill, growing angrier and angrier. We all know what happens when Bonnie gets mad. Shit gets f*cked up. Elena comes up behind her, because apparently she hasn’t learned her lesson, and starts feeding on her. It doesn’t take long for Elena to fall to the ground in pain as Bonnie uses her powers to start breaking Elena’s bones and essentially kill her. Damon and Stefan show up and talk Bonnie down from her magic-high to save Elena. Listen dudes. I think she could have made Elena suffer a little bit longer. She deserves it! Oh, and what are you planning on doing in the next episode? Torture her in a basement? Exactly.
Rebekah: So shit got pretty deep in this episode for Rebekah. We’re talking back to the age-old debate of good versus evil. Can “evil” people/creatures (i.e. vampires), really be…good? In Rebekah’s case, most people think not. No one is afraid to say this to her face, either. Matt and Elena blatantly told Rebekah that she’d be a shitty human, and made her feel like an idiot for thinking any different. Ouch. I have to agree with everyone else to some extent. I mean think about it, she has been a human a fraction of her life on Earth. Most of her time alive (or dead, whatever, you know what I mean) has been spent being a blood sucking demon with no care for anything but her self and her blood lust. Rebekah is extremely immature and emotional, and I don’t really see why she would want to be human, other than the fact that she is bored out of her mind. Klaus and crew seem to agree, and that is why Elijah gave her a “test” to see if she truly wanted to be human. He challenged her to be human for an entire day. Like, no supernatural strength, no compelling friends/boyfriends/prom dates, and DEFINITELY no killing/sucking/draining of any living creature. Talk about a challenge. Rebekah stayed true to this, until Elena’s bitch ass slammed April’s head on the table and bit her neck off. (She really is starting to piss me off.) Anyways, Rebekah was left with a choice: live up to the challenge, or use her blood to save April’s life. Rebekah did the, “good” thing and saved April. We all know what happened after that. F*cking Silas.
Caroline: You just couldn’t catch a break this episode. Not only was your dress hi-jacked by your ex-bestie, you went to prom dateless, your boyfriend showed up for like five seconds and then left you to throw a prom after-party that no one showed up to. #lifesucks. Caroline did have one positive thing happen to her though: she got to wear a boss ass dress from Klaus’s treasure vault. That ruled. What was up with the Steroline moment on the dance floor, though? I get that people have special little moments or whatever, but I am not feeling the possibility of that relationship. After seeing the sexual chemistry of Stefan and Elena once again, there is just no denying that they are made for each other. Sorry, Delena fans, but right now that’s where my head is. Maybe Damon and Caroline should share more than a flask of whiskey. They both are in love with someone who can’t/won’t be with them at the moment. Might as well have some fun in the meantime! Just saying.
Klaus: When I grow up, I want to be Klaus. I want to be as f*cking amazing and bad ass as he is. Is that even possible? Probably not. Elijah straight up tells Klaus that he’s not giving him the cure and that their sister deserves a shot at being human. Klaus is not pleased. When Elijah gives him the white oak stake that he got from Rebekah in hopes that it will keep him from going after Katherine, he’s pretty much just like, “Screw you. I’m still gonna kill that bitch.” Klaus is brooding and silently plotting when he hears Caroline yelling his name through his house. Their interaction in this scene literally made me squeal at the top of my lungs it was so adorable. When Caroline asks for his help in finding a classy, family heirloom dress, he SMILED. Not his typical, “I’m two seconds away from ripping your heart out of your chest and killing all your loved ones” smirk. Like, an actual happy smile. At the end of the episode, he gets a classy letter and it’s from Katherine. She’s telling him about some mambo jumbo shit in New Orleans (I don’t really know), a.k.a setting up “The Originals” spinoff. We’ll see how all that goes down next week. I’m really excited to get a whole episode (and possibly a whole series) about my beloved Klaus. It doesn’t get much better than that.
What did you guys think? Did the prom episode live up to its hype? I effing loved it, for one. Caroline’s photo montage as you’re walking in to the dance? Yeah, that brought my humanity back and made me bawl my eyes out. Jeremy?! Stelena pics circa season 1?! It was all just too much. Leave your thoughts below, and check out next’s week’s promo (and “Originals” set up!) here. Until next time…