Well if that episode title isn’t witty as hell, I don’ t know what is. Last night was packed with tons of awkward moments, most of them including Dean blushing over a witch getting it on with his “pet”, who just so happen to transform back and forth between a human and dog. Yeah. We were lost, too. Let’s dive into the dirty deets before we confuse you further:
Portia is a familiar, a witch that goes back and forth from human to animal. She belongs to an old friend of Sam and Dean’s named James, who has been dabbling into witchcraft and he seems to of gotten himself into trouble. This guy just isn’t any old witch, though. This chica named Portia is his, “familiar”, and she’s half dog/half human and wears this really tacky pink collar the whole time. Apparently familiar’s are drawn to a certain master or some shit, but they had a more intimate relationship than the average supernatural couple. Whatever, it was weird.
Anyways, James was having some crazy ass dreams about killing people, and he was starting to go a little batshit. Familiars and masters can communicate telepathically, and Portia could sense that something was up. James blocked her from his mind because he didn’t want her to see how was, well you know, KILLING PEOPLE. Portia freaks out and enlists the help of Dean and Sam.
The boys look into a “killing” spell from Bobby’s research (RIP) to see if maybe their friend James is being forced to do the killing. Dean decides to investigate further and visits this bar that looks like an escort service, but it’s filled with familiar/witch couples. The best was this gay little Wicken who turned into a cat and then hit on Dean. It was hilarious. And that bar was pure fucking class. Versailles style furniture, pianos, and cocktails with fruit. It looked just like the TeamTSD headquarters. #truth. Lone and behold, one of the witch’s was jealous of James because he wanted his familiar. That sounded weird…anyways…this asshole wanted Portia and was going to either frame James for her, or kill him for her. There was a big witch battle and Sam and Dean used a potion to kill the bad guy, and everyone lived happily ever after. #duh.
Now let’s dive into our Winchester hotties a little deeper. I have some shit I want to sort through:
Dean: Dean needs to get laid. He is too damn fine to get all hot and bothered over the mention of the word, “sex”. His tension may be more from Sam and the three trials, though. He was pretty tore up all episode. He had a big talk with Sam in the car about how he’ll be there for him, and if Sam isn’t ready for this he will be there to take the trials. I mean Dean has already been to Hell and back, like literally. He knows how terrible it is down there, and he doesn’t want to think of his brother suffering the same fate. Once again, Dean is pure f*cking class, and he is such a family man. I mean honestly, what more could a girl want? Guys want to be him, girls want to marry him, and he just got signed for a ninth season. #micdropbitches
Sam: Sam thinks that Dean doesn’t trust anyone but himself, but I think don’t think that’s case. Dean is just used to playing the care taker, and he can’t stand to see Sam in the line of fire. Remember when Dean sold his soul to bring Sam back from the dead? #shitslegit. Sam is going down a long and lonely road though…did you see that nose bleed at the end of the episode? It looks like the trials are starting to take a toll on him. Either that or he started doing coke. I’ll take the latter, though.
What do you guys think? Are things getting a little crazy or what? And where is Cas? I need my favorite angel back! Leave your thoughts. Until next time…