Last night’s episode was the first one of the new year and it returned with a bang (this is one of my favorite TVD episodes of any season). My emotions are all over the place right now, but I’ll attempt to pull myself together so we can discuss what the hell just happened. I had to watch the episode twice because so much happened in it (and the first time I think I had too much wine), my vision was blurry from all the tears, and I was screaming 50% of the time so I think I missed some important dialogue. I’m good now, though. In this episode we saw Rebekah officiating a brutal game of truth or dare, Tyler mourning the loss of his mother and Stefan pretty much saying “f*ck you” to Elena… and Damon. Let’s get down to the dirty deets.
Rebekah: You are a fierce bitch, and I love you. Sure, she trapped Stefan, Elena and Caroline in the school library, compelled them and made them say heartbreaking things to one another, made Tyler turn into a werewolf and brainwashed April, but guess what? She got Elena and Stefan to tell the truth about their feelings. Not that her intentions were to help them in any way, but still. I don’t think we can blame a girl for wanting revenge at this point. She has spent her whole life being betrayed by the ones she loves and being daggered, then un-daggered, then daggered, then un-daggered, then… you get what I’m saying, right? Her life has sucked. Next time you think you’re having a bad day because someone cuts you off on your way home from work and when you finally do get home there’s dog puke and shit all over your carpet because Sparky ate a bad pepper from the garden and then you see Sparky ate the damn Wii remote which means you can’t watch TVD episodes on Netflix on your TV anymore, take comfort in the fact that Rebekah’s had an eternity of days 10 times worse than that. Anyway, it’s time for her to take control of her life, and that’s what she’s doing. #girlpower. You do you, girlfriend! Bex, you probably shouldn’t have joined up with Kol, because he’s treating you like you’re an incompetent child. No worries though, because now you’ve teamed up with Stefan. Which brings me to…
Stefan: I feel like you need a hug. Need a shoulder to cry on? Should I come over? No? Ok. So, life just took a huge shit on Stefan. As if finding out from big-mouth-Caroline that Elena slept with Damon wasn’t enough, he gets to be stuck in a room with Elena saying that she slept with Damon because she’s in love with him. Ouch! That’s not easy to hear out loud, even when you already know. My heart broke into about a million pieces for Stefan in this episode. I’m hoping (for selfish reasons) that this will send him over the edge and we’ll get to see the Ripper again. I am so glad that Stefan grew some cojones and finally stuck up for himself. This love triangle-sire bond shit is no one’s fault, but it’s happening none-the-less. They need to face the music and deal with reality. I was a little disappointed with Stefan for two reasons:
1) He told Rebekah to erase all memories of Elena. I know that he’s hurting right now and he was probably just acting on impulse, but damn dude. I feel like he was just trying to hurt Elena back.
2) He told Rebekah he wanted the cure to find out if the way Elena feels for Damon is actually real.
To me, that’s selfish as hell. But again, his heart just got ripped out about an hour ago, so he’s probably having a hard time dealing with that. I just want Stefan to be happy, and I’m hoping there’s a way to repair the relationship between him and Damon. Bro’s before hoes. Now that he’s formed an alliance with Rebekah, I think the old spark between them is going to reignite. I mean, they did really care for each other in the 20’s, and they are both in a vulnerable state. I would LOVE to see some hot action between these two.
Elena: Break hearts much? HOLY SHIT GIRLFRIEND. Did you get Taylor Swift’s new album? Because you definitely took a note from her book and broadcasted to all your friends how you and Stefan are never, ever, ever, getting back together. Like, ever. I mean I get how you were, “feeling like a broken toy,” but did you have to sound so cold-hearted when you said it? You sounded brainwashed. That might be because you were compelled and sired at the time. I can only assume so much brain manipulation would have an effect on a woman. Anywho, you finally dropped the L-bomb on Damon. Saying, “I love you”, to him really flipped his morality switch, because he wanted you to hop in your Ford Explorer and drive to his bed stat. Judging Damon? Stop right there…
Damon: Let’s not hate on him for acting rationally on emotions just yet. Take a step back. Let’s think about how many people have genuinely said, “I love you,” to him before. The bitch that counted bricks? Right. And even if Elena’s feelings are from the sire bond, I think she means it. She loves Damon. We’ll just have to find out whether or not she is IN love with him, or just loves him out of appreciation for his chizzled jawline and perfect abs. Damon spent most of the episode trying to teach Jeremy to be a vampire hunter so he can grow that sweet tat. Klaus got straight shitty, because he has like, ZERO PATIENCE, and took matters into his own hands. Damon ultimately agreed with Klaus’s plan to make newbie vamps just for Jeremy to kill, because he wants to make Elena human and find out her true feelings.
**Side note: Back to Elena for a minute. Is she totally not acting like herself? She is like a completely different person. Even though she did some rational things out of love and emotion when she was a human, she still stuck to her guns. As a vampire, she is like completely and utterly vulnerable and not making decisions on her own. I think this might backfire on Damon when she becomes human (if that ever happens). #justsaying. Her personality and actions have changed too drastically with this transition for nothing to happen as a repercussion.
Jeremy: Tat-Tat-Tatted UP! I don’t even know how I knew that song existed. #friendsdontjudge. I feel really bad for Jeremy right now. He is getting completely used and it’s not like Matt can step up and help him. Damon seemed like he was trying to help him at first, but he was so eager to get the damn cure that in the end he went along with Klaus’ plan. Pause! Can we please talk about Jeremy’s bulging biceps and traps for a second?
I mean, really? How did this even happen? I am NOT complaining. Moving on. Jeremy totally killed that pizza delivery vampire that Klaus sent like a boss, but I don’t think a weekend at the lake house kickboxing with Matt and taking laps around the lake means he’s ready to take on a bar full of newbie vampires. Just saying. Not that I don’t think he’s a complete badass, but he’s been a hunter for about a week, and I think he just needs to spend more time honing his craft. It doesn’t look like he really has a choice though, because Klaus and Damon just threw him into the lion’s den. I have a feeling that Elena is not going to let this happen, or at least she’ll try to stop it (because I’ve read the synopsis for next episode and it says so).
Klaus: You are such a dick. But I love you. Poor Jeremy looked terrified when he walked into that bar with all your newb vamps ripe for a stake in their un-dead hearts. However, Klaus looked like a straight #boss with all that classy liquor. I wish Klaus would put something else on his agenda other than hybrids, though. I mean what about Klaroline?! Him and Caroline had some SUPER cute moments in previous episodes, and I thought I was going to get to see them make hot blonde vamper sex. I don’t think that’ll happen soon considering the bonding moment her and Tyler had last night…
Caroline: The scene of you holding Tyler as he cried (while naked) at the foot of his mom’s memorial table made me lose my shit. The audience needed to be reminded why your relationship is so real and meaningful. It was reminiscent of the scenes in past seasons where she helped Tyler through his werewolf transition. #adorbs. NOW, let’s get to the juicy shit. I am waiting for the Elena/Caroline showdown. You know Elena is pissed Caroline broke the girl-code by telling Stefan that she boinked his brother. Lindi and Liz would never do that to each other. Even if you’re acting a little cray, your girls are always supposed to be there for you. #truth. Watch out guys, I sense a vampire cat fight coming.
Shane/Bonnie: Shane, you need a haircut. Just pointing that out. Bonnie, when a man gives you a dead bitch’s necklace made from human bone that usually isn’t a good sign. Your judgment (present and past) has always been parallel to that of a four year old’s though, so I’m brushing it under the carpet. Have fun continuing on your path to the dark side. I’m over it.
April: Hunny, PLEASE tell me why you are still in town. If un-daggering your dead bestie, realizing Elena’s a vampire, getting compelled, almost dying because you were magically linked to someone who brainwashed your father into murder/suicide in the name of an ancient dude named Silas doesn’t scream, “get the F*CK out of town,” I don’t know what does. April’s not leaving without getting payback for what happened to her dad. She knows Shane was behind the explosion that killed him and 11 others, and she’s not going down without a fight. Thanks for bringing Mayor Hopkins (that’s Bonnie’s dad, FYI) and Sheriff Forbes into this shit storm! Maybe we can lose even MORE parental figures than we already have. Way to go, April.
Katherine: You know I miss this bitch as much as all y’all, but considering Klaus is still around AND they are looking for the vampire cure, I don’t expect we’ll see her soon. Remember, she is also a doppelgänger, so Klaus could easily turn her human to make his hybrids instead of Elena. #MarinateOnThatShit.
This episode brought about some huge changes, and we saw major division amongst the group at the end of the episode. Now we have Team Shane/Bonnie (TeamExpression), Team Stefan/Rebekah (TeamJiltedLovers), Team Klaus (TeamDon’tGiveAF*ck) and Team April/Mayor/Sheriff (TeamMuggles). Needless to say, with everyone having their own agenda involving the cure, things are going to get messy. Next week, Jeremy will have to stave off a marauding band of compelled vampires, Elena will attempt to negotiate with Klaus and Matt’s life is put in danger. Share your thoughts, comments and predictions. Until next time… #FangsOut