Alright, I’m still trying to process everything that happened in this episode. JP what are you doing to me? Last night was a game changer for sure. Stefan is still on the hunt for the cure, Klaus demonstrated the deadly effects of trying to cross him, and our Scooby Gang now lacks just a little bit more parental supervision than before (if that’s possible). Let’s get on down to the dirty deets.

elenaElena: There are a few things that I really want to point out about Elena in last night’s episode. Number one, her ombre highlights looked really good at the lake house. Number two, I am SO glad we saw a tender moment with her and Jeremy. #familycomesfirst. Number three, her sire bond-ness REALLY stood out. It was almost sad. When she was being all flirty with Damon, you could tell that Damon was completely checked out. It’s not that he doesn’t want to indulge in it, but he isn’t sure if it’s real or not. Elena does not have control over her feelings right now, and I do NOT like it. The fact that Elena would always stick to her guns and stay true to her feelings is what I really loved about her. Now it’s like she’s in the same category as the bitch who counted bricks for 70 years. Which, PS, I’m glad we only had one episode with her. She annoyed the shit out of me. It’s like she was the perfect combination of the most annoying, psycho, stalker-like person on the entire planet. ANYWAYS…moving on.

damonDamon: I don’t care what ship you are on, because after last night, Damon just gained a lot more fans. He is on this path to the high road, and he is being SO selfless with his feelings. He even said that he wants to throw naked Elena in bed and never let her leave! But what does he do? Right by Elena AND himself. Not only is he setting Elena SOMEWHAT free by distancing himself from her, but he is recognizing that he deserves more, too. Damon is not going to settle for sire-bond love. He wants to be sure that shit is legit, and I am 100% on board with that. Let’s also note that Damon did not BAN her from loving him; he just sent her away so he could help rehab Jeremy from wanting to kill the entire main cast. This leads me to believe that there is still hope for Delena fans. Now, how about a little theory? Check it out: WHAT. IF. Elena and/or Damon becomes human from the cure? Does that break the bond? Could we then see if Elena’s feelings are real for Damon with the bond broken? I don’t know, but I think something like that HAS to happen in order for Delena to discover whether or not this shit is real. That will give you guys something to think about during the month-long hiatus. #yourewelcome.

"Bitch say what?!" -About Delena Sex

“Bitch say what?!” -About Delena Sex

Stefan: I really liked Stefan last night. I felt SO bad for him when Caroline told-him-without-really-telling-him that his brother boinked his ex-girlfriend who also happens to by mystically sired to him. #yourlifesucks. However, I really wish Caroline would have told him that Damon did the nasty with Elena BEFORE he knew about the sire bond. I mean, she’s like making the situation worse than it really is. #dramaqueen. THEN she’s all like, “Elena’s at the lake house with Damon.” Well, OF COURSE Stefan is going to flip shit. No, literally, he flipped shit: the coffee table, lamp, couch, a super classy chess set. It was intense. He did look really hot when he raged out though, so maybe that’s why Caroline left out a few essential details. Also, did anyone else think it was freaking hilarious when Stefan walked in on Klaus painting that boss ass snowflake? It was so awkward and awesome. Stefan was just like, “da fucque bro?”

Klaus didn’t give a shit either, because he’s a straight baller. ANYWAYS, I hope that Stefan finds some closure come January 17th, because this shit storm just keeps pouring down on him. UGH JANUARY 17TH?!?!?!? Next Thursday, I am going to have an all-girls night where we just puke and cry all over each other because there won’t be a new TVD episode. Real talk, I couldn’t even get out of my car this morning when I got to work I was so upset. #truth #friendsdontjudge

O Come, All Ye FaithfulJeremy: First things first: sweet biceps Lil’ Gilbert. Someone was pumping iron between Seasons 3 and 4. #DAYUM. So, Hunter Jer was chopping wood at the Gilbert lake house with BonBon when Elena and Damon pulled up. Elena got about 2 feet in the door before Jer tried to kill her. Well, that didn’t go so well. Then creepy Professor Shane attempts to hypnotize Jer so that Elena can weasel her way into his mind, tell him how much she loves him and hopefully make him not want to murder her anymore. This scene totally reminded me of that Intervention show where the family reads the drug addict letters about how much they love them and all the good times and then the druggie just gets pissed and is like, “F*ck this shit. Gimme my crack.” It NEVER ends well. You know what I mean? ANYWAYS, some shit happened and they tricked him and he was all sentimental with Bonnie. I honestly don’t even know what happened because I was too busy Googling, “shirtless Steven McQueen”. #notlying

carolineCaroline: She looked so freaking fangtastic in this episode. Loved the dress, the hair, the jewelry, the attitude. #workitgirl. So, Tyler tells Caroline his grand plan for getting rid of Klaus for good at the MF Winter Wonderland. The conversation went something like this: Tyler: “I’m going to bury myself in concrete for a little while babe.” Caroline: “What da f*ck? No!” Tyler: “Yeah, but I have to.” Caroline: *sighs* “Well, alright then.” For real though. She took the news that her boyfriend was willingly going to bury himself in concrete for an undisclosed amount of time quite well. I probably would have reacted differently, but what the f*ck do I know about the responsibilities of being a supernatural creature? ANYWAYS, she acted fake to Klaus (again) in order to distract him at the Winter Wonderland. Caroline, I’m going to need you to admit that you have real feeling for Klaus, because I want Klaroline to happen more than anything right now. I have an inkling that any chance for Klaroline has indefinitely been put on hold now that Klaus straight murdered Mrs. Lockwood. In the end of the episode, Caroline again demonstrated her extreme inability to keep secrets because she pretty much told Stefan about Damon and Elena getting jiggy with it. *Na Na Na Na Na Na Na* Dude! This love triangle has nothing to do with you, so stay out of it. I still love you though.

klausKlaus: Four words people: Bad. Ass. Mother. F*cker. I knew an outburst of violence was brewing in him, and he was about to explode. He was well-behaved for like two episodes, and that’s not like him at all. There was no way in hell Stefan, Caroline and Tyler could pull the wool over his eyes for that long. Sure, he loves Caroline and probably knows that she’ll hate him for what he did, but he is selfish and he acts on impulse. He is obsessed with power and won’t think twice when he needs to demonstrate his control over others. It’s who he is. He straight massacred TWELVE hybrids in like, two minutes. What a boss. Did you ever think someone could look so freaking hot covered in blood? Me either. I think I’m in love.

Fawning over Klaus while he murdered all those hybrids. So freaking hot.

Plus, how casual was he when he drowned poor Carol? Is it bad that even though I felt bad for Carol, I was STILL just thinking about how much I loved Klaus? #SorryNotSorry. Anyway, this joker just doesn’t give a flying f*ck. Everyone would do good to keep that in mind. He’s about to be in a world of trouble though because he’ll have Tyler, Caroline and Rebekah pissed at him in the next episode. Oh, and to whoever was responsible for playing “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” while Klaus was drowning Carol in the fountain, thanks a lot. I’ll never be able to listen to that song the same way again.

tylerTyler: I have so many mixed emotions right now about TyTy. On one hand, I feel extremely bad for him because his mother was just murdered, and his plan to take down Klaus completely blew up in his face. On the other hand, I’m just pissed that he chose to trust Hayley! I don’t even know what happens with Tyler next. He lost all of his hybrid friends and his mother. He has no parents, brothers, sisters, uncles, cousins that we know of, NOTHING. All he has is Caroline now. He’s going to be pretty freaking pissed at Hayley for deceiving him this whole time and obviously f*cking livid with Klaus after he killed him mom. Tyler has really stepped it up in the last few episodes by establishing himself as the alpha of his pack, but without a pack, what does he do now? My guess is that, in a blind rage, he’ll be making some costly and irrational decisions. Losing your mother at the hands of your arch-enemy during the holiday season tends to affect one negatively. Also, who’s going to take down all the Christmas decorations at the Lockwood mansion now? Dammit Carol.

hayleyHayley: Your recap will be quick and to the point because you totally pissed me off last night. I love Phoebe Tonkin which makes me want to love Hayley so much, but I just can’t right now. She snapped Caroline’s neck and stuffed her in a bathroom stall for heaven’s sake! Completely unsanitary. Plus, she’s in cahoots with Shane, and he’s obviously up to something freaky that we don’t know about yet. Hayley, your only redeeming quality right now is that you clearly care for Tyler and you kept him out of the crossfire last night. I hope that flash drive is worth it girlfriend.

aprilApril: I love you because you weren’t a little bitch when you heard Caroline talking about all that weird shit in the bathroom. You just pretended to be compelled like a boss and went looking for your friend’s body. Thank you for releasing Rebekah, (which I’m guessing you did) because we really missed her! I hope April will be getting more screen time this season, because she’s super cute, and I like her character. This poor girl deserves to know what happened to her father, too. P.S. Who is she living with right now? Again, with the lack of parental supervision in Mystic Falls! Oh, and I want to see her and Matt together. #TeamMapril

I really do NOT like hiatus’. Waiting until January 17th, 2013 to see the next episode of Vampire Diaries is going to suck. #WaitingSucks. So, what can we expect to see in 4×10 (“After School Special”)? Rebekah will finally be awake from her little slumber, Tyler is going to be shitty as hell with Hayley and Klaus, and Stefan looks like he’ll be pretty fed up with all these Delena shenanigans.

Oh, here’s something to hold you over till January 17th:



Until next time…



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