SAVE THE SUPES!
This week’s Save the Supes should come as no surprise: Bon Temps’ very own Sookie Stackhouse. Hookuh is about to get hunted by, I don’t know, the MOST DANGEROUS VAMPIRE IN THE WORLD. Maybe she should call up Elena Gilbert from #TVD and swap stories. #crossovershowwish. ANYWAYS. I sure as shit don’t want the Authority harvesting Sookie’s blood to find some kind of day walking loophole. DAY LIGHT RING MUCH, ANYONE!? Sheesh. If Morella can Rosetta Stone a piece of paper, the Authority can surely figure that shit out without suckin’ Sookie dry. Let’s give some reasons as to why Sookie should be spared from becoming a lab experiment in the Authority’s lair.
1. Her sundress collection. She is literally the only person in Bon Temps that dresses fierce. It’s like Ann Taylor Loft’s summer collection threw up on her. We have to keep the only fashionista in Bon Temps alive for that reason alone.
2. She’s Eric’s true love. In Eric’s 1,000 years, he has NEVER succumbed to a love like his with Sookie (maybe Pam, but that’s a different kind of love). He loves her like a fat kid loves cake, and I will not see my Eric deliver himself the true death because Sookie dies. I don’t think there’s a suicide hotline for 1,000 year-old Viking royalty vamps. AND I want to see more Eric/Sookie love scenes. Remember when she used to dream about him after she drank his blood? #OMFG
3. She’s also Bill’s true love. *Queue Bill’s voice* “SOOOOKKAAAYYYY!” If anyone can bring Bill out of his Sanguinista bullshit trance, it’s Sookie. I love Bill (just not right now). Remember when Bill would do anything for Sookie? When they loved each other? Or that scene earlier in season 5 when he pretended to glamour her and your heart broke into, like, a million little pieces? Fairy allure or not, their love was real. SHIT WAS LEGIT.
4. Jason. I fracking love the Sookie/Jason dynamic. They are seriously the cutest brother and sister ever. God bless that gorgeous boy, but he’s dumber than a mule on meth. He needs his big sis to look out for him. #TeamStackhouseSiblings
5. Gran’s house. I know Eric owns it and all, but he is NEVER there to keep it clean. Sookie takes care of the whole damn thing. Anywhere from human guts to vampire guts, she’s ready to rock and roll with her bucket of bleach and wash rag. That kind of cleanliness is rare these days.
6. Merlotte’s. Ok, so this may not be the BEST reason, but reason enough. I know she never goes to work, but she is (by Louisiana state law) still a Merlotte’s employee. Who else can read someone’s mind when they’re about to dine and dash? No one! I’m also sure that when Arlene has a family of eight she’s waiting on, she’ll want Sook’s extra pair of hands to help take out plates.
7. She’s a main character. She signed on for a sixth season, so it’d be pretty stupid to kill her. Someone should Chinese telephone that shit to Russell. #justsayin
What are your reasons for saving Sookie Stackhouse from the wrath of Russell Edgington? Share your thoughts! Sunday can’t come soon enough (2 eps left-eek!). #fangsout