It goes without saying that I’m going to be freaking the fuck out before, during and after the premiere on October, 11th. Here are some things that will most likely happen while I’m watching 4×01. Oh, and remember, friends don’t judge.
-Spitting my wine out across the room every time something crazy and unbelievable happens… so, maybe like 10 times in the hour. I’ll have my carpet cleaner handy.
-Screaming at the top of my lungs during every commercial break because my mind was just blown into a million pieces and I can’t even comprehend what just happened. I hate commercial breaks by the way. No! I don’t want to know what Colgate can do for my teeth. I want to watch vampire love triangles and witches doing spells for crying out loud! Get out mah face!
-Crying like a little baby every time Stefan or Damon put on their Elena-induced brooding/hurt facial expressions. Freaking Elena! Stop messing with their emotions and just date them both already. They won’t mind. I promise. See: Katherine/Damon/Stefan love triangle of 1864. They were cool with it. #winwin
-Crossing my fingers super tight every time Bonnie tries to cast a spell to save someone’s life and therefore risks her own life in the process. Here’s to hoping she’s got a double roll of toilet paper handy this season because I have a feeling the bloody noises will be a ’flowing.
-Puking all over myself every time someone is about to be murdered/injured/kidnapped by an original, a vampire hunter or some other enemy that we don’t even know about yet. Leave my fucking vampire family alone! It’s just really upsetting, ok?
-Hyperventilating when the Klaus/Tyler/Caroline scene comes on TV. I’ll be freaking the fuck out when this shit goes down. I don’t care how creepy it is; I hope Klaus and Caroline get it on while he’s in Tyler’s body. The fact that this is completely and utterly immoral, unethical & probably illegal in some states doesn’t bother me. #sorrynotsorry
-Throwing my Cheese-Its at the TV screen whenever Elena tries to do the ‘right thing’ which puts herself and everyone else in danger causing Damon and Bonnie to have to risk their lives to save her and fix what she’s done. UGH! Get your life together Elena. You better wise up as a vampire honey child.
-Jumping up and down and cheering whenever anyone gets their ass kicked by Damon, Elena, Stefan, Caroline or any of the other vampires that I love. I can’t wait to see Elena become a freaking BAMF and beat some people up. I want to see her deck Rebekah right in the face. *BAM!* “That’s for ruining Matt’s car and sending him to the hospital. He doesn’t have health insurance you bitch!” #girlfight
-Lying in a heap of my own tears, vomit and spilled wine trying to breathe and process the last hour while wondering how the hell I’m going to survive until next Thursday at 8pm. Shit!!!!
It’s a rough life being a TVD fan, but it’s worth it. 😉 Leave your comments about how flipping excited you are for October 11th! This hell of a hiatus is almost over!!! WOOOHOOO!
Until next time…