#DOLLFAIL: TRUE BLOOD EDITION

The Meth-head Barbie Versions of Bill, Sookie & Eric

Oh no… dolls gone wrong AGAIN. Triple WTF?! Are you kidding me with this shit? For how technologically advanced this country is, we just can’t seem to figure out how to make real-life vampires into dolls that actually look like them. I mean, we can send a man to the moon and invent Twinkies but we just can’t seem to figure out how to make dolls actually look like the people they are supposed to be mini-replicas of. What gives American doll makers? I want to know who the hell did all the Madame Tussaud’s wax celebrities and give them a call and see if they can do something about this STAT. Sookie, Eric & Bill, I am so so sorry. Please don’t be offended by these mediocre representations of yourselves. Oh my poor sweet Eric doll. What have they done to you? First of all, no ones arm muscles ripple in that fashion by the elbow. It looks like the plastic got messed up before it was done drying and someone just said, “Oh fuck it.” Why is his face so much darker than the rest of his body? Why does he look so feminine? Is he wearing guy-liner? Did they rub body oil on his chest? They are dolls! They don’t need to be prepped for a photo shoot like normal people do. Get your knowledge up. The Sookie doll actually looks hot here and I would love it except for one thing, it doesn’t look like Sookie at all, so… fail. The Bill doll doesn’t look half bad but here we go ahead with the awkward facial hair length where we aren’t sure if it’s a shadow or stubble. Plus, don’t kid yourself Bill, your jaw is not that chiseled. Also, a vampire king would never where a shirt as ill-fitting as that. How insulting. So many questions. It’s all yet another case of #dollfail and it’s pissing me off. #fangsout

XOXO,

Team TSD

 

 

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