Holy shit!! Where do I even start? I just… can’t. Quadruple WTF dude? How can someone seriously make these monstrosities and sit back and say: “Yup, looks fucking awesome. Let’s sell these bitches.” No! Just no! How dare you defile my lovelies like that? I’m even more disappointed in whoever bought these. Let’s try to figure out where these ass-hat doll makers went wrong.
Elena: Home-girl is supposed to look like she’s in high school, not like a single mom working three jobs and on a crack binge. Elena, sweetheart, please know that your head is NOT that boxy and your face doesn’t look like you got smacked with a cast iron griddle. I think Doll Elena has a squirrel watcher too. One eye’s watching Damon and Klaus fling fence posts at each other, the other one’s looking for an escape route. Ok, so the cock-eyes aren’t that dramatic but whatever. Doll maker, I’m assuming this is your job so, you should probably be really good at it and make both of her eyes look straight ahead. Other issues I have with this doll are that the chain on her necklace is totally not that thick, she never wears that shade/cut of jeans & her hair never looks this freaking greasy. She is freaking clean. Don’t insult her like that! I’m pissed.
Damon: Just… I don’t even know. So, this Damon doll looks like he made a guest appearance on Rupaul’s Drag Race and then forgot to use his Pond’s makeup removal pads before his TVD doll photo shoot. Who the hell did this to my dear sweet Damon? Who?! Did you really need to pencil in his eyebrows that much and add a smokey eye? Let’s just freaking emasculate him a little more and make him look like he took a trip over to Orange County and got some lip injections. What’s with the crease in his neck? If you can’t make that plastic doll joint shit look natural, don’t do it all. Despicable.
Stefan:This is the Irish version of Stefan Salvatore right? Since when did Stefan become a ginger who looks like he’s wearing a wig? I must have missed that. Anyone else think he is just one step away from busting out into the robot? No? Just me? Moving on. Judging by the lines under his eyes, it looks like he hasn’t slept for days. Mother cracker, Stefan is a vampire! He doesn’t get lines under his eyes. The only thing they did right here is have him wearing a leather jacket with a brooding look on his face. That’s so Stefan. Otherwise, this seriously looks nothing like him. I’m seriously offended. FAIL!
Now that I’m officially pissed about the complete lack of respect for the TVD cast’s dashing good looks, it’s time for you to get pissed too and tell us what you think about these raggedy-ass dolls. It’s just another unfortunate case of #dollfail. Leave your comments. #fangsout