WELCOME TO BON TEMPS, EVERYONE. WHERE SUPER SNATCHES AND WAL-MART COUTURE ARE ALL THE RAGE.

OK, ya’ll. What did you think of last nights ep? Because I, for one, effing loved it. I love Eric’s fierce sis with the hot lingerie, Pam’s one-liners made me cry blood I was laughing so hard, and I couldn’t be more thrilled that Lafeyette shaved off that bad weave. Every girl knows a new haircut makes you a whole new woman. Ok, now let’s get to the dirty deets.

1. Sook. She did what any loyal friend would do if her bestie got her head blown off-turn her into the one thing she hates most in the entire Supernatural Universe. Wait-whaaaa?! Yah. Tara is now a vamp and from the looks of it she is a nasty one at that. At least Tara’s personality is seeping through. We last saw her about to kick Sookie’s ass for turning her.

2. Pam. Love that bitch. I hear we get her backstory this season. I want that NOW!

3. Jason. OMFG. First off, somebody hit the weights more than usual in the off season because boy was lookin’ fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. And I think he has been hit by cupid’s arrow-he toats luvs Jessica. But that devilish little red head is looking to lose her virginity (again) with some other local sausage. But the way she rescued Jason from the Rev was very territorial-kinda like Bill and Eric are (were? whatever.) with Sookie. I’ll be interested to see where that goes.

4. The Rev coming out to Jason. That was just hilarious. Jason’s naïve-ness never gets old. And the Rev being pushed out of the house “I LOVEEEE YOUUUUU”. Awesome.

5. Jesus. Ay! Dios Mio! Uh, where’d his body go? Donde esta?

6. Alcide. Ok, I am NEVER team werewolf, but HOT DAMN. I am loving me some Alcide. He is so delicious. I just want to tie him up and… oh, sorry, some of you reading this are like 15. Call me in a couple years.

7. Alcide. Yeah, I just want to say he’s hot again. WHEN CAN WE SEE SOME ABS!!!???

8.  Were-Pack. They ate him!? Gross. Moving on…

9. Eric. “F**k Sookie”. Someone’s a little upset he got dumped.

10. Bill. Um, can you please call Jessica to check in? B/c she’s throwing ragers at your house. UNSUPERVISED AND UNDERAGED.

11. Eric and Bill. Bromance much? Lovin’ that shit.

12. Eric’s Sis. In the words of Lafayette: Hooker, get some better friends because ya’ll got caught. And if Eric and Bill get the true death because of your dumb ass I will wrap you in silver and cement your British booty under a parking garage…oh wait….

13.   …Russell! AWWWWWWW SNAP!

Now leave your comments, bitches.#fangsout

xoxo, TeamTSD

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