TRUE BLOOD SEASON 5 EPISODE 2: THE AUTHORITY GETS SHITTY & TARA’S OFFICIALLY F***TARDED

Episode two of this season has impressed us again. I don’t know how the town of Bon Temps can handle much more drama but it seems like they ain’t seen nothin’ yet. There is so much to discuss! Here are Team TSD’s thoughts on the episode.

1. Tara – I don’t even know where to start. I thought Sookie handled it much better than Lafayette but maybe she was just glad that since Eric owns the house she doesn’t have to pay for all the damages. Tara was one hell of a vampire hurricane and she really jacked that house UP! I half expected Gran’s ghost to come back and whip the shit out of Tara for effing up all her antique furniture. Do you know how many Saturdays she must have spent at the flee market in order to furnish that house? Geez Tara, and after all Gran did for you. Sookie says that Tara just needs time. Yeah… I don’t think so.

2. Pam – Poor poor Pam. I am glad we got to see some of her back story and I have no doubt there is more to come. She is by far one of the best characters on the show and I am looking forward to seeing another side of her. She didn’t care at all when Eric killed that guy in front of her. She sees dead bodies all the time though guys. How many girls get murdered in your brothel Pam? Career change? Just a thought.

3. The Authority – Intense! Silver IV drips look painful. Damn the Authority and their hardcore interrogation tactics. I was glad to see Eric didn’t lose his smart-ass attitude. Can someone tell me who let the little guy into the Authority? I wanted him to take his mini-suit and bad attitude and go eat a PB&J. Someone get this pint-sized asshole a Kool-Aid Jammer and send him to time out. Ugh!

4. Russell – Hmm… you need some Jergens. You look like an over-sized chameleon that has spent too much time in the Atacama. You’re also slightly reminiscent of Thing from the Fantastic Four. Oh, and you scare me. Someone kill him!

5. Jason Stackhouse – You had sex with someone’s mother? Why does this not surprise me? Is there more to this story or did they just want to remind us that J-Stack has messed around with 99% of Bon Temps… and 50% of Hot Shot. Come on! We already know about all the ladies he has slept with because we have seen it with our own eyes, not that we are complaining. Our resident lady-killer is trying to be a better man so lay off him a little why don’t yah.

6. Steve Newlin – We found out that Jesus loves vampires. Praise the Lord! Hallelujah! You came into the party acting all cool and friendly and then you tried to convince Jessica to pimp out Jason. Then she beat your ass, pulled your hair and embarrassed you by making you have fang hard-ons (and a real one) by talking about J-Stack’s buns of steal. You had a bad night. We’ll pray for you.

I would comment on Terry’s dilemma but I don’t even know what the hell is going on.

Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed tonight’s episode and I like where they are going with all the story lines so far. I’m a little pissed we haven’t seen a shirtless Alcide yet though. What gives? Go Team #TakeYourShirtOffAlcide!!

Leave your comments about this breakdown and follow us on Twitter: @TeamTSD. Hope you don’t have too much of a Fangover tomorrow. 😉 Thanks, Trubies. #fangsout

xoxo,

Team TSD

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